Monday, 7. January 2008
Although I’m not running for president, that will be my slogan in the upcoming year.
I’m not sure that I’ve ever had true resolutions. Those who know me well, know that I am terrible at finishing things I start. Check that, I can definitely finish a bottle of wine or a No. 1 from Taco Bell.
But, seriously, if I had to pinpoint one defining characteristic in myself it’s that I start a lot of things really gung-ho and almost never finish them. This trait can be related to many things ranging from painting to reading a book to dating to sticking to a career to writing in my journals.
For example, many years ago, I got all inspired to paint. So, I went to the UO bookstore and bought all kinds of oil paints, a canvas and some brushes. I went home determined to paint. Well, about half way through, I had had my fix. The canvas was half white and half…um, artistic? That painting sat that way…forever.
I have about 10 journals. All of them are half full. I become unmotivated by the cover or by the particular train of thought that a certain journal leads me and go to the bookstore and pick out a really inspiring green velvet journal and words flow. For about six months.
I’ve lived in really great places, had really great jobs and wonderful relationships, yet, I find myself in new situations at every turn.
The key in 2008, however, is embracing who I am and remaining gung ho about leaping into things whole-heartedly. I’ll never be a different person, and I don’t want to be.
But, I want to follow through because a lot of what I start is really amazing and actually a good idea. So, I did come up with some resolutions and they’re all based on things that I’ve wanted to be better about for at least 10 years. They revolve around conversations I’ve had with myself for many years so I figure now is the time to put forth the effort.
Some of these are going to seem extremely basic and your typical resolution, but they are important to me for my own reasons.
1. Be positive, worry less. I’ll be turning 34 this year and I really don’t want to worry about why certain people are douche bags or why they say (or do) certain things. I will admit to being one of those people that worries about too many details, most of which are not important. For example: Why was I number 2 on your myspace and now I’m No. 10. Who gives a fuck? And, don’t act like you haven’t done it either. I also can’t worry about the decisions other people make and if they bother me…I have my life and my own decisions to (not) worry about. Basically, if you don’t like me, go fuck yourself. I don’t care anymore.
2. Minimize. The pertains to everything from my friends to my house to my thoughts. I will now focus on quality of things, friendships, etc., as opposed to quantity. And, some people just aren’t making the cut in 2008. If you make me feel worse when I get off the phone, I’m probably crossing you off the list. Lucky for the Ducks they showed up in the Sun Bowl or they’d be crossed off because I can guarantee you that would have made me feel poopy.
3. Live in the now. Not in the past. 2007 was a weird year because I moved from Oregon. And, I spent a lot of months questioning the decision, struggling to move forward, unsure of who I was withougt everything Eugene. Now that new year has begun, I feel like the Oregon saga is behind me. Obviously, I still have my peeps, but it’s time to think about now. And that pertains to a lot of things. Today is today. Yesterday is already gone so if Laef peed on the toliet seat or left 92 dishes in the sink, it’s pretty much a moot point to think about it today. Besides, have you seen Manhattan Beach? I love, love, love where we live. It’s small and quaint, so I don’t feel overwhelmed, the weather is amazing, the neighbor cat pees on my doorstep without fail, I run along the beach. I doubt we’ll be buying a house here, but for this block of my life, I am seriously living the high life.
4 and 5 go hand in hand. Exercise, eat well, drink less alchohol. I have gained 12 pounds since moving to LA. Some will say that’s a good thing because I had twiggy legs or whatever. I’m fine with 12 pounds if they weren’t 12 pounds of wine, sour cream and cheese. I was on a really great exercise routine in Oregon and felt the best I ever have. I’ve been bitching to myself everyday for six months about toning up, so I’m committed to it again. And, that means not drinking wine during the week. I usually have a glass while I’m making dinner, a glass with dinner and maybe another. Depends. But, that doesn’t help the calorie count. I’ve been monitoring my calories and it takes me 50 minutes on the treadmill to burn 420 calories. That is a LONG effing time to be on a treadmill. Yet, it takes me about 10 seconds to down a late-night hot pocket. Now that I realize how long it takes to burn it off, I’m much more cautious about what I eat and drink. I miss my wine, but it makes the weekends so exciting! I had two whole glasses Saturday night!! Then felt guilty and swam for 40 minutes on Sunday.
What are your resolutions?