Well, I think I am sort of recovered from the first weekend of college football. Except for the fact that Laef and I are going to the UCLA vs. Tennessee game tomorrow in hopes that the Bruins don’t pull a Washington.
Speaking of Washington: Thank goodness they were that bad. It took the talk off of Coach Bellotti’s goatee. Now the only two grown men I know with a goatee are Bellotti and Art. I don’t exactly want Coach Bellotti lumped in with the other father figures in my life.
I can’t lie. I woke up at 7:30 a.m. yesterday to watch College Gameday. We had a Costco-sized bottle of champagne, a Costco pack of Corona, a giant bag of $3 tortilla chips, avacados for days and a lot of Cheez-Its.
For some reason Laef had to work at 7 a.m. on Saturday. Cross Country runners are weird like that. So, while they burned thousands of calories, I indulged in major amounts of guacamole, champagne and fried eggs.
Sanchez had his gameday tools also: Livestrong bracelet and Flexiwrap. Yes, the blog is my top priority in life so I did try to put the Livestrong bracelet on him and wrap his shoulder with ice and flexiwrap (for those of you not dating an athletic trainer, flexiwrap is used to wrap ice bags onto various body parts). FYI. Kitties don’t like bracelets. Or ice bags.
By 12:30 p.m. I had taken a brief nap. Let’s just say the USC game put me to sleep. I could be the fucking quarterback and take that team to the national title game. They are batshit crazy-good no matter who is plugged in at quarterback.
Laef finally came home, wondered why I was so “fired up”, why the cat wasn’t speaking to me and where my pants were.
Gameday makes me giddy. And, I love excuses to be giddy, drink lots of Corona and eat numerous cheese balls.
I did rally to make it to a barebeque to watch the Duck game. I would just like to say that I did not appreciate Oregon’s season-opener being at 7:11 p.m. It was a long day of waiting.
While the Duckies did look solid, Washington is horrible.
Some other things of note on Week 1:
1. Dr. Lou’s dentures. I’m not going to make it an entire season. I think he spit on me twice yesterday. Before noon. I’m not that kinky that early.
2. We have heard the last of Hawaii. Whatever joy ride they went on last year has ended.
3. USC will dominate the Pac-10. Can’t wait for the USC-Ohio State game.
4. Cal’s offense is very Un-Tedford like. Riley is definitely the better option at QB, but the Bears need to iron out some wrinkles. Or throw some new ones in.
5. Oregon State needs a quarterback.
Happy Sunday! Yay for another day off tomorrow! And more college football.
The Q&As have been a big hit with Duck fans and so today the Eugene radio station had me on to talk about my days at Oregon, the Q&As, my blog and other fun Oregon stuff.
I was very nervous about it because I’m two years removed from Oregon and I didn’t know if I’d have much to offer. But, looking back at it now, it was really fun to relive some of the happiest times of my life.
If you are a Duck fan, this was a difficult week in terms injuries. But, it’s game week – Washington game week no less – and in honor of that, I thought we should revisit Kenny Wheaton’s play that seems to always brighten a Duck’s day.
Oregon does not rest its namesake on national championship banners or nightly ESPN news reports like USC, Ohio State and Notre Dame. In fact, as a program, Oregon doesn’t rest on anything. Oregon is progressive. Its legacy is what’s coming in the future. Its legacy is being innovative, cutting edge, always changing. Always looking to what’s ahead.
Because of that, I have to admit that I’m somewhat ignorant to what came before me. I came in 1999 when things were about to reach a fever pitch. I watched The Pick replayed every Saturday at Oregon for eight seasons and I don’t think I ever appreciated it or understood it. My history lies with Joey, Maurice, Igor, Onterrio, Keenan, Peelle. After the Fiesta Bowl, my boss, Dave Williford said: “Enjoy this. It wasn’t always like this. And it won’t always be.”
I didn’t believe him. I only knew success. Big names. Big wins. Big bowls. And then came the Seattle Bowl, no bowl and a Sun Bowl loss. The Fiesta Bowl was a special moment in history, and I’m thankful to have been a part of it.
But, there’s a whole world of Duck football that came before the flat screens, three-story locker room and juice bars. After talking to Kenny Wheaton for this Q&A, I watched the You Tube clip a few times to really try and put myself there, because sadly, I wasn’t. I now believe that you’d be hard-pressed to find a moment in time at Autzen Stadium or in Duck football that can replicate that. Yes, there have been bigger seasons, bigger super stars and bigger games since then. But, Kenny Wheaton owns the moment that defines Oregon football. He owns the moment that inspires Duck fans like no other.
So, today, in spite of Oregon’s recent set backs, I want Duck fans to relive this moment because you never know when the next one is coming. For all we know, this season could be filled with unexpected victories and incredible highs.
Because I was not there, I would love to hear feedback and stories from people that were there. I would love to know the feeling in Autzen, where you were, how you felt, what it means to you. Missy was apparently standing next to a woman who peed her pants. Peed her pants!! Not many moments make me pee my pants, so it must have been good.
P.S. Oregon 34, Washington 31 (my prediction for this week’s game)
P.P.S. Kenny Wheaton was the most gracious, forthcoming, generous person. He was happy to do it and happy to respond to Duck fans.
P.P.S. I never noticed this before, but in watching the tape, you can see at the end that he is very tired, staggering around the end zone and Jeff Sherman literally tackles him down to the ground and then guys just pile on. I am pretty sure he was having a tough time breathing at that point.
Kenny Wheaton, August 24, 2008
1. Let’s just get it out there. Tell me about The Pick from your perspective:Well, as the game was going, it was tough. It was coming down to the end. They lined up in a set that was familiar to me from watching film. I’m looking at it and know they’re going to throw it to me because I’m a freshman. I knew they were going to pick on me and I was nervous, but I wasn’t afraid because I had done my homework. I knew what he was going to run and all I could think about was, “Kenny, just catch the ball.”
As the play was unfolding I jumped the route. The ball went in slow motion. It was real life, but it was slow motion to me. And I was still saying catch the ball to myself. That’s why so many guys drop the pass. They see the open field and it’s huge. But, my mentality was and still is to catch the ball first. That’s the hardest part.
2. Obviously, you are remembered first and foremost because of that play. What are some things about you that are possibly overshadowed and what else do you hope to be remembered by?:Could the success get to your head? Yes, but I was raised that I was no better than anyone else. I could have gotten whatever I wanted, but I never really did that. It’s hard for young guys to deal with success and people patting them on the back. But, I have always hoped that when people meet me and talk to me that they think I’m a nice person. I would hope that all the duck fans would hear my name and think of a guy that when he went to a game he played hard. He left it all out there. A guy who made plays and did his job.
3. But, you are OK with being known primarily for that play?:I’m OK with it. We are talking about history. No one else knows who Kenny Wheaton is except for Duck fans. People will You Tube me and say, “Oh, you made an interception.” I know people who are true Duck fans know that I brought more to the table than just that one play. It doesn’t bother me. Because the true fans know I did more than that. I was a part of great teams.
4. What was going through your mind after the play?:After the play, first and foremost, I was tired. The way I looked at it the entire time and even after was simply that I just did my job. At the time, I didn’t see it as the huge play in history. I saw it as a huge play for winning that game. I didn’t know the rivalry was that big until after the game. I was thinking that I hope they bring someone in to sub on the kick off. I was trying to catch my breath and guys were just pounding on me.
5. Why do you think the Washington/Oregon rivalry got so big? Even bigger than OSU?I don’t know. I didn’t have a clue. I did not have a clue that it was that big until after that play. To think about it now, it was probably because the fans expected us to beat OSU because at the time they weren’t very good. Washington always had a cockiness about them. In the years after that it was the fans and the players that were just cocky.
6. How often do you make it back to Autzen:I was just there this past November for the Civil War game. Before that, not since 2000.
7. What is it like seeing The Pick displayed before the game and hearing it pump up the fans?Honestly, the first thing is that it makes me feel old. Seeing the old uniforms. I just feel so old. Of course it brings a huge smile to my face. I think everyone says, “I want to leave a mark. I want to touch someone.” That’s one of my marks. It feels good. But, man, I’m just old.
8. Speaking of the new uniforms and other stuff, what’s your perspective as a player that came before all of it?:I don’t envy the guys. My perspective is: I was a part of helping build that right there. I just hope that the guys that have come after do the same things we did. Respect the people that came before. I smile. I helped build this. Yes, they get different types of recruits. Super stars that don’t have to work as hard. I can’t say that they don’t work hard because I’m not there, but we had guys that had more to prove when they came in and weren’t super stars coming out of high school.
9. Let’s talk about playing in Canada and the differences. I read that you own the CFL record for longest interception return (116 yards!) so obviously, you found a comfort zone:It’s still football. There’s definitely an adjustment though. The field is wider. You have an extra 16 yards to cover. The difference with this return was it took me a lot longer to get to the end zone. I’m a lot older and slower and was definitely more tired.
10. You keep talking about being older. Another difference is that you’re now No. 30. Let’s talk about the difference between the No. 20 vs. No. 30 as well as being 20 years old and being 30 years old:Well, first the jersey numbers. It’s a huge difference with the jersey. Number 20 will forever be my favorite/best number. I’ve never had a chance to get it professionally either here or with the Cowboys and that’s hurtful. Because that is a number I cherish. I feel that I’m the man I am today because of The University of Oregon. The jersey number. I can’t put it in words. It’s special. People [on the field] say, “Hey 30!” and that’s weird. As for 30 the age. There’s a lot of things that I’m a lot better at than I was in my 20s. When you are older, you do everything a little bit better. At 20, you react. At 30, I think things through. You really think things over. I have a family. I have to think about more people than just me and really think about things.
11. Let’s talk about some of the lighter moments at Oregon. Can you recall a funny story?OK, so my roommate Jaiya Figueras wanted to buy this car. He wanted this VW bug and I went with him to look at it. When I saw it, I told him it would never run. The people told him it would never run. He said I was negative. So, we made a bet. He said he could fix and I said, no, you can not. He said, “you help me slowly with money to buy parts.” I told him I would help him up to $250. If you get it running, you don’t have to pay me back. He bought that car for $300 and that was his school for about 30 days. He bought books and read them daily. He took the motor out with his own hands. Some people might not see this as funny, but he was out there daily in the rain or whatever. It took him a month until he got the car to run. He drove that car for like 2 and half months with milk crates for seats. I do not know what happened to that car. But, he won the bet.
12. Do you have any regrets about leaving early and what sort of advice would you give to players today?:I really don’t regret my decision at all. My advice is to enjoy college. I did. I met a lot of nice people that brought a lot of great memories. Do what’s best for you. My dream was the NFL and I didn’t want to risk injury. The biggest thing is that my younger brother was murdered after my first year in the NFL and he wouldn’t have gotten to see me play. So with that alone I have no regrets. He left knowing that I fulfilled my dream.
13. How did your brother’s death change you?It changed everything about me. The way I play, the way I prepare. It changed my life. At the UO I was a film junkie. When this happened my rookie year, it tore me up. What took the back seat was football. I couldn’t put forth the effort I used to. I see that in my preparing. Playing and preparing is all the same. If you don’t do the homework, you will play the same way. Do I blame that on the turn of my career? No, I just say that as a young man it was a tough time and that as hard as is it may be, you have to move on. I couldn’t figure out how to do that. When you are older, you do everything a little bit better.
14. I’ll ask you what I ask everyone else. What is your guilty pleasure show:I am going to go on record right now and say that I am not embarrassed. I watch Young and The Restless. I have been watching since I was 3 years old. That’s 30 years. I had to tell my mom what happened on the show. When I was at Oregon, I had no classes at 11 a.m. except my freshman year and that didn’t go over well. I hope my mom doesn’t read this. Tivo would have been good back then. A lot of people say I should be embarrassed, but I am not. At night, I love Desperate Housewives, Grey’s Anatomy. I like the drama. I look at those shows and it’s like real life. Of course they add a little bit, but most of those things happen in real life.
15. Do you want to give a shout out to anyone at Oregon?Twinkle Morton. Without a doubt. No offense to anyone else because there were a lot of people that were great, but she was very special to me. It’s the one thing that angers me. I don’t feel that she never she got the respect and credit for what she brought to the table.
16. And, lastly. Any thoughts on this year’s defense? Do you keep up with what is going on?To be honest, I’m not a big football fan. I know that sounds weird, but I watch enough film when I’m playing. So when I’m on my time I watch my shows. Also, I live in Dallas so I don’t catch a lot of Oregon. They like The Big 12 here. Michael Fletcher keeps me up to date on everything. But, I’m very appreciative of the Oregon fans. I have crossed paths with people in the NFL who tell me how tough it is to play in Autzen. I know I will get calls to do interviews this week because of the Washington game and I always make time for it because it all started at Oregon. Fans still write to my mom and she writes them back. And my last year was 1996 so I love the fans for that.
I had a few concerned emails from friends after posting the picture of Sanchez in the refrigerator. Poor kitty! WTF, you don’t have AC? He’s hot!!
Look everyone. We’re hot too. And you don’t see us pulling this move:
Truth is, this little fuzzy bunny fur ball is spoiled rotten. He spends his days keeping cool by the window, contemplating his next exciting move in life. Which is a toss up between: 1)Eating 2)Shitting 3)Napping 4)Playing 5)Cuddling or 6)Chasing is favorite Q-Tip all over the house. He’s living large people. Living large.
I will admit that from time to time I find him lounging on the freezer or sprawled out in the famous spread eagle pose most certainly doing his best to keep cool. Yes, I feel somewhat guilty that he’s got some serious fur to deal with. And then I remember who gets up with him at 5 a.m. to feed him and start his day on the right track.
He’s growing into quite the giant little shit for brains (that’s code for I want to squish his face he’s so cute). From 7-10 p.m. he runs over the entire 600 square feet of the house at mach speed excited that his peeps are home. He chases, attacks and goes after every object that crosses his path. And, he has finally learned that if he wants to be in the bed where his peeps are between the hours of 11 p.m. and 6 a.m., he can not attack our feet or our faces.
We came home the other night to find him looking a little under the weather. He barely moved when we walked through the door. He scoffed at the bowl of food and promptly threw up at my feet. I was concerned and unsure of what to do. Laef immediately gave him a puke rag (I guess he has experience in puke rags. I am not sure why) and his favorite toys. I can only imagine Laef as a father.
I have to admit that while I sometimes wish he’d tone it down nine notches, I did not like seeing him in this state. I will take his usual self over him puking and looking pathetic any day.
We discussed that we’d have to bring him to the vet the following day, which prompted Laef’s first fatherly speech.
Laef to Sanchez (who is passed out on his death bed): “You’re gonna have to get job here pretty soon. Earn your keep, pay for these vet bills. You hear me?”
Later that night, Sanchez started to rally and feel better and by midnight was biting the shit out of my legs again.
So, fear not people! He’s hot, but he’s livin’ the dream!
It should come as no surprise that free-spirited Devan Long has spent his time traveling and enjoying life since leaving Oregon.
Devan was always good with the media, but I mostly only ever saw him in the treatment center. That was his spot. Hanging with the boys watching Anchorman.
I can’t imagine he’d ever come out to practice or games if he were still there today. He’d never want to leave the new treatment center.
I have a super-special Q&A planned for next week. Just in time for the Washington game. Go Ducks!!
1. Introduce yourself: I’m Devan Long, I played some football for the Duckies a few years back, but im better known for my undefeated Thumb Wrestling record.
2. What have you been doing over the last two years? Lets start out with training camp for the Carolina Panthers. I ripped my groin in half the second day (total bummer) so I had to do push ups and ride the bike while watching all my friends run around and have fun (super bummer!). I was put on I.R. and got to go back and do rehab in Portland. I ended up having to get surgery in January 2007. I rehabbed again and got asked to go play in Europe over the summer. So i went out for training camp. Deja vu! I tore my groin again and got sent to Birmingham, AL for 4 months to rehab again. Around July 2007, I came to the conclusion that I needed to get out of Alabama and give up football all together and do what makes me happy. Because having a chronic groin injury was starting to get old. Although, I do have a pretty sizeable crater on my leg where they did the surgery, which is perfect for a a body shot! So I made the decision to part ways with Football. It was a rocky break-up. I mean we had a lot of great times together (dominating in Autzen, etc.) but like most good things they come to an end.
My brother Rien was with the Titans at the time had just injured himself in training camp so I went to Nashville to be with my best friend/brother and plan my getaway. I thought it was gonna be all boots and buckles but thats not the case at all. So I made Nashville my temporary home. 3. Wasn’t Rien in an accident of some kind? Yeah, I got a phone call. My Buddy got a hold of me and basically told me my brother had died in a car crash!!! I was shocked to say the least! Long story short, I flew back, he survived and I ended up takin care of him for a few months till he could walk again. He brokke his hips, 8 ribs, had a collapsed a lung, fractured his neck and severed his urethra. But you wouldnt even know it. He is healthier now than before the accident. Once he could walk I headed straight to mexico with my good buddy. We drove a Jeep with a 12ft trailer from washington to the tip of the mexican Baja. We had everything you would need to survive (surfboards, bbq, fruit roll ups, generator etc.) So we just drove around and surfed and met geat people, drank Tecate and just everything we wanted and nothing we didn’t. Now im back in Nashville enjoying the summer. 4. What do you miss most about Oregon football? The part I miss most about Oregon football is hanging out in the training room with all my friends and my favorite trainers while listening to the Anchorman soundtrack or whatever else obscure music that we could find. We would just lounge around like a pride of lions and go over the topics of the day. I also miss doing prank calls to other guys’ rooms the night before games in the hotel and acting like the hotel manager. I would accuse them of having girls or alcohol in the room and tell them that the coach Bellotti was irate and that he was waiting in the lobby. Needless to say there was usually at least one half naked football player in the hotel lobby every night before a game.
5. If you could be a movie star, who would you be and why? If I could be a movie star I would probably be Daniel Day Lewis. His performance in “There will be Blood” was commanding!!! After I watched it I grew a mustache and threatened people daily that ” I will drink your milkshake!!!”. But Will Ferrell would be way too much fun. It’s a toss up. 6. Do you still follow the team closely? If so, what player on the D-Line do you see having a breakout year? I haven’t followed them too closely lately, but I want Cole Linehan to crush everyone. I gotta call coach up and get the scoop, I’ve been slackin’ on keepin up with the d-line.
7. Who would win in a 40 yard dash- you or Coach Greatwood: Coach wood would definitely beat me. He is a plays dirty. I bet he would pull a Tonya Harding and get one of his freshman O-Lineman to take my leg out with a crow bar ha ha ha haa! 8. Do you go back to Autzen for games? I haven’t made it back for a game yet, and don’t think for a second I havent recieved alot of crap from everyone over it too. I could start with a long list of excuses but they would all fall on deaf ears. I have a wedding in Portland for the season opener against the Huskies so I’m gonna try and crash the first half of the wedding and then crash the second half of the game. 9. What is the funniest moment from your Oregon days? The funniest moment in my Oregon career?!?!? C’mon, thats a harder question to answer than whose your favorite spice girl (they all suck equally). Everyday was hilarious. But if I have to recall a humorous moment that could be told without offending people and keeping it PG-13 (which seriously narrows it down) I would have to with all the pranks that were played in the dorms. From the “accidental” fire alarms at 4 a.m., to filling up large buckets of water and tipping them against buddies’ doors and waiting until he opens the door and floods his room. It was all done out of fun and everyone was a target, no one was singled out so there were never any hard feelings. 10. Who was your favorite athletic trainer? I have three favorite trainers and they all share a special place in my heart…and in my hamstrings! Mean Dean is all business and always shot it too you straight. He was old school and was an artist with a hand full of massage cream. Kevin “Chief” Steil is the the color commentator. Always kept a smile on my face. I would frequently injure my oblique abdominal muscle from laughing so hard. Kim Terrell is phenomenal. I could always count on her to get me through any problem whether it be a paper cut or pulling out the claws embedded in my back from the time I ran through the mountain lion exhibit while I wore an outfit covered in catnip at the San Diego zoo during the Holiday Bowl.
Did I tell you that Laef and I bought a Super Lotto ticket? Yeah. We have spent the last two days discussing which investment firm to hire, whether we should buy beachfront or off the beach (that sand can be a bitch, y’all), how many houses in the Midwest and Bay Area we should invest in, etc.
I think at one point we even got in a mini-argument over how much should be left to Sanchez.
Here’s to hoping The Secret can do more than just find me a parking spot. Because we’ve been doing the whole, “talk about it like it’s real and like it’s going to happen.” So, if it doesn’t work this time, I’m deleting Oprah from my TiVo. I can’t keep up with all of the shit she tells me I should be doing anyway.
Anyhoo…back to Michael Phelps.
Wait. Before Michael Phelps. His mother. She is famous now too? She seems real sweet and good for her because I gotta think if your a mother that’s pretty much what you’re aiming for: 8 gold medals. But, come on. She didn’t give birth to him at 6’6″ with 100 pounds of gold around his neck.
The other day, Laef and I noticed a very small, quaint house for sale around the corner from our even smaller and more quaint house. Again, following the rules of The Secret we sort of talked about taking a tour. We knew there would be no way, but if anything was going to be remotely in our range, it was a place like this.
Then yesterday, the Realtor dropped off a flyer for the place. I will let you all have a looksee so you can see what we’re dealing with here in Manhattan Beach (you will need to click on the photo to make it larger. That was for my mother. I know the rest of you can figure that out). It’s not just the scallops that are outrageous.
You’ll notice the square footage and the fact that there is ONE bathroom. Then you will notice the price down in the right hand corner.
Yes. That says $1.1 million.
We immediately decide when we win the Lotto that we will not be buying that particular house, but something probably in the $15 million range.
You will notice that for just .5 more million he is getting approximately 3,000 more square footage and something quite a bit more stylish. I don’t know if we’re moving to Balitmore, but it’s safe to say that The Valley is probably in our near future. Or Inglewood. I’ll keep you posted.
We all know that I roll through life pretty hard. I am what some would call an “offensive” player. I am always making a lot of decisions, trying many new things and making crazy choices along the way. Needless to say, I don’t play it safe. I am always looking for ways to make my life exciting. I don’t sit back and play defense.
However, when you are a quarterback (I like to think of myself as a five-star on Rivals.com or Tom Brady-esque), you tend to throw some interceptions along the way.
One of my interceptions in life was my decision to go to culinary school. I loved cooking, thought I was pretty good at it and figured it’d be worth $40,000 to start a new career at 32.
I have a hard time taking advice. I am getting better though. I’ve learned from my mistakes that sometimes I need to listen to different perspectives to make an educated decision. Laef is very good at this. I am not. Anyway, a lot of people said I didn’t need culinary school. They said I needed experience in a restaurant.
So, three weeks in, I dropped out. When you have a fun hobby and it starts to become a job or a daily requirement (as any school usually is) it loses it’s fun.
However, I still love cooking and I have not thrown as many “pink chicken” interceptions as Art.
Many of my cooking mistakes these days revolve around losing an asparagus or a pepper through the cracks of the grill.
Anyway, one of the things we did this past weekend when Nick and Jon were visiting was go all Top Chef on ourselves. We went to Whole Foods (this is a special treat because while the produce, seafood and meat is super high quality, the prices definitely reflect that)and each picked out a few things to throw on the grill.
We left with the following items:
4 Jumbo Sea Scallops 8 oz Smoked Sea Bass 8 oz. Chilean Sea Bass 8 oz. Salmon 1 chipotle chicken breast (Laef is not a big seafood guy) 1 Large artichoke 1 bunch asparagus 1 Large yellow pepper 1 bottle white wine
I am sad that I did not take a picture of the final product. But, just so you can understand the deliciousness of sea scallops, here’s what they look like:
I was nervous about putting Sea Scallops on the grill because if even one speck fell through, I would have cried. I soaked them in olive oil, garlic, lemon, salt and pepper for about an hour before. I do not like using foil on the grill for fish because I want the full grill effect, but sometimes you just have to as the fish begins to flake.
With the sea scallops, I did not have to. Because they were large, I grilled them for about five minutes on each side over medium-high heat. They were so rich and delicious, I highly recommend treating yourself.
I threw together a random marinade of soy sauce, honey, garlic, lemon, brown sugar, oil and dijon mustard for the salmon. I did not get to try this because Jon ran through it, which means it must have tasted OK.
The smoked sea bass needed no marinating and Chilean Sea Bass is so rich and yummy also, I just used salt and pepper.
My point is, you don’t have to be a chef to treat yourself to a little Whole Foods deliciousness every once in a while!
P.S. Do you think Offense can win championships too? I sure hope so.
I have a good explanation. Two St. Louis boys descended upon Manhattan Beach last Thursday at 12:30 p.m. PST. They did not leave until Monday afternoon. I have had writers blog because the brain cells that help me write died in my eighth bottle of hot sake.
Anyway, It all started Thursday night. Me, four boys and a string of behavior that left my brain completely incapacitated for the past four days.
Let me just say, our tiny love shack somehow survived, which is amazing considering that I heard, “I have to take a shit” or “I can smell your burps” or “The cat is in the fridge again” on more than one occasion.
I realized early on that I had lost control of all four of the boys. This includes Sanchez:
If you are concerned about the fact that I had brown lettuce in my fridge, can you please cut me some slack. I had much larger things to contend with. This is what my table looked like all weekend long:
For those who know me (Laef), this was a particularly stressful situation. Luckily for the boys I was so hungover every day I didn’t care about the table or the fact that Nick’s favorite pasttime (second to drunk dialing) is falling asleep on the couch with a full beer in his hand only to wake up when he spills it all over himself and the couch.
The best part about having drunk guests sleep over is seeing how they can fall asleep in the most insanely uncomfortable positions with no blanket and no pillow. Ahhh to be 18, er, 34.
I had also lost control of Laef and his obsession to dress like a “Cholo on Easter” because he wanted to relive his love for Knocked Up.
Even Sanchez was contact drunk enough to wear his favorite hat:
Needless to say, it has taken a few days to get things back to normal. Sorry for my lack of blogging.
Which was fucking great for the Dodgers. LA had a 5-1 lead heading into the 9th. Before they Cardinal’d it and let the game tie up 5-5 in the top of the 9th. For a second I thought Chan Ho Park was Izzy, but I was wrong.
The best exchange of the day went something like this:
Drunk Dodger Fan Heckling Chan Ho: “Go Back To Beijing!”
Laef: “He’s from Korea!”
Reason No. 3…, I forgot where we’re at. I’ll fix it up tomorrow. Anyway, Laef knows his geography.
We are spending our Sunday evening watching Top Gun because one of our guests has never seen it. Have you ever heard of someone who has not seen Top Gun?
In 1986, when I was in 7th grade, I watched this movie every single day for an entire summer. I would sleep over at Angela Cramer’s house (she had a pool and a downstairs), wake up, go swimming, watch Top Gun, go swimming, call my parents to beg to stay over another night and repeat.
I have not watched this movie in years. I forgot about this:
Why does Tom Cruise rock tightie whities that are pulled up to his nipples? I guess they did not have cute low-rise tighties in 1986.
Halloween ’08: Tightie Whities, Aviators and dog tags. And maybe some tape on the hands to represent the volleyball scene.
I can’t say that I remember somebody with a better sense of humor during my time. Also, Chris was one of those guys who had to work extra hard to earn a starting spot. You may or may not remember that Igor Olshansky was a freshman during Chris’ senior year.
Chris’ back was injured all season long, but that season culminated in the Fiesta Bowl win. Chris had worked and battled all season and earned the starting job for the game. He wasn’t able to play through and I think we all remember that as Igor’s coming out party.
Since then, the Ducks have gotten monster D-Linemen and five-star recruits and Chris’ answer to where he’d be on the depth chart this season is pretty funny.
He also recalls a travel story. I wish I had a photo, but I don’t. I just remember him getting on the plane in a polyester suit and acting completely serious about it.
I did find a couple of photos to reflect his personality. Enjoy. By the way, yes, he drives a giant station wagon.
1. Introduce yourself: Hello, my name is Chris Tetterton and I’m not in the porn industry.
2.OK. Then what are you currently doing?: I am currently employed as a stage manager at a production studio. And by night I solve local mysteries in the Marina Del Rey area.
3. So, you are borderline famous? I wouldn’t call it borderline because that means you have to be somewhere near the line, and i am far from it. For now.
4.Where would you be if you were on the depth chart of the 2008 Ducks?: Where do the pop-up dummies fit on the depth chart? I would say holding them.
5.How many times have you been to Autzen since you last played?: Well, that’s hard to say. I sat in the stands once for a half. But, I have been to the Mo center for 5 and a half.
6. Describe playing for Coach Greatwood: I will just say this. After my career at Oregon, Wood had agreed to take the seniors (only Zack and myself) out for a night on the town. The real Eugene, which is nowhere near the Oregon Electric Station. Oh yeah, he was a good coach too.
7. Do you still have the giant stationwagon?: Yes I do. Until I see a Mad Max or a Thunderdome, I’m still gonna drive my landyahts.
8. What former Ducks do you still keep in touch with or hang out with?: I keep in touch with many of the guys that I played with, but I can’t name them all because I would get cramps in my hands. Garrett Sabol called me last night as he was carrying his wife to bed and I was trying to get a drink. Funny.
9. How bad was college football for your back?: It hasn’t made me want to take up gymnastics, but it’s one of those things I have to live with and take care of the rest of my life. Just gotta keep stretching. Josh Wilcox taught me that. And the full nelson.
10.What’s your fondest memory of Oregon football?: The ones my friends or the police told me the next moring. Or beating OSU my senior year and wining the PAC-10. It’s a toss-up.
11.Funniest memory: Too many to even think about. But going to UCLA my senior year in my polyester suit and white shoes made everyone laugh and relax. I like to think that suit won that game. Coach Bellotti said it was just what he needed and that everything was going to be great on gameday. Coach Greatwood could not keep a straght face. DP [Coach Pellum] just shook his head. I think he was jealous. The next morning on gameday, I came down like everyone else in travel sweats. Bellotti asked me to go back upstairs and put on my suit. And even after we won and were back in the lockerroom, Coach grabbed my arm and looked at me with a slightly puzzled look. He asked me if I was going to wear the suit home. I asured him that I would, mostly because all of my other stuff was on the bus. That suit rocked. I will wear it if we get inducted into the hall of fame.
12. Funniest teammate? You don’t count: Erik Nicolaisen. Hands down. (http://www.eriknicolaisen.com/)
13. Did you ever get Joey drunk?: I can not really say that I got him drunk. It might have been the Arbor Mist wine that did.
14. What do you miss most about Eugene? The fall. But not fall camp