Tuesday, 24. March 2009
I barely even knew it was spring break.
I only realized it when I got up to go to work on Monday and Laef – almost sporting a full beard to go with his mustache – didn’t budge or make any attempt to think about waking up for work.
Me: “Are you getting up? We are leaving in 30 minutes. Can’t be late.”
Laef: “I’m off today.”
Me: “What the fuck?”
Laef: “It’s spring break.”
Me: “What the fuck?”
Apparently, when UCLA students depart for spring break, that includes all of the track athletes that Laef tends to on a daily basis. So he has to work like two days this week.
Whilst he was at home binging on WoW and Cheez-Its, there was a knock on the door. It was the UPS man. He was standing behind five boxes from Macy’s. Big boxes. Immediately Laef rang me up.
Laef: “WHAT DID YOU BUY????”
Me: “Well, I bought a pair of running shoes! But, they were on sale and …”
Laef: “Well, these aren’t running shoes. These are boxes from Macy’s.”
Me: “Ohhh…the must be wedding gifts.”
This shit NEVER happens to me. One of my greatest joys in life is getting mail. I like letters in my mail box. I like knocks on the door with surprise presents. I don’t think I’ve ever been at home and had a UPS man drop off one box, let alone five.
Laef decided to wait until I got home from work so we could both open them. As I ooohed and ahhhed at our new towels, dishes, and sheets, he barely looked up from his game. I realized that wedding registries don’t really suit guys. Laef definitely knows that we need new sheets, but he doesn’t exactly explode with glee over receiving them as a gift.
My excitement reached a peak a few weeks ago when we received a food processor. I pulled it out of the box and showed Laef. It was our very first wedding gift and it was definitely something that would be used right away.
His response: “We already have a blender.”
The Sanch is with me on the whole presents thing as empty boxes make his world go ’round.
If Macy’s carried any of the following, they’d be on our list to make the Bossman smile.
1. Girls Gone Wild, Vol. 1-37
2. Girls Gone Wild, Special Spring Break Edition
3. The Man’s Guide To Conquering WoW
4. Bud Lite
5. Instant Blueberry Pancake Mix
6. Economy Sized Box of Cheez-Its
7. Wild Things, Unedited
8. Porsche 911
10. Round trip tickets to Vegas