Tales from La La Land

In case you’re living under a rock and didn’t know, Twitter has come up with this new feature called Twitter lists. It’s a way to organize all of the people you follow into separate lists. It’s genius, actually.

I quickly divided the people into various groups labeled “Food”, “TV”, “The Loves of My Life”, “Sports” and “TOOLS”.

It has been fun to see how other people label their lists. TOOLS refers to people I know in real life, have met in person, have gotten wasted with, have talked to on the phone, etc. Some of my friends have labeled this type of list as “Friends” or “People I know In Real Life” or “Tweeps” or “Peeps”.

The possibilities are endless.

“The Loves of My Life” include: Edward Norton, Coach Sark, Tom Colicchio, etc.

With my list obsession comes a problem though.

I CAN NOT STOP THINKING OF EVERY PERSON I KNOW AS @Laef or @Sanch.

Last night, Laef walked in the door from work and I wanted to tell him the following:

“Hey, so Kim and Amy will be here tomorrow around 8 and we’ll just stay in and then go to Sharks Cove tomorrow to watch the Oregon game.”

But, in my head it went something like this:

“Hey, so @KimDetwiler and @AmyDetwiler will be @ourhouse tomorrow around 8. We’ll just stay @ourhouse and then go to @SharksCove tomorrow to watch @OregonFootball.”

Seriously. I need @Twitter to get out of my head for one fucking second.

T.G.I.F.

GO DUCKS!

By the way, I have a huge bet with @mamaspohr, who is a USC grad (BARF).

Let’s just say that it would suck a very lot if I lose this bet.

Big in your mouth.

Who is your dealer and does he want more clients?

Giggle. Giggle.

I was already a huge Natalie Portman fan and now I think I am in love with her. She said all of the above.

I didn’t know what to expect from her, but she seemed like a super fun person to be around. I loved what she brought to the dinner (the banter around pricks and balls was right up my alley) and to judges table.

Ahhh…where to begin. Let me just get it out of the way now. No one is going to read my blog anymore. Over the past month, if I had a dollar for every person that found my blog from searching “Mike Isabella douche” or “Mike Isabella sucks” or “Mike Isabella and Jen Top Chef” I would be a millionaire. People search his douchiness like it’s their job. I am glad I provided a place for people to come read about his douche qualities on a weekly basis.

Because he certainly did NOT disappoint this week. He is overly, overly confident (as usual) in the elimination challenge, yet doesn’t seem to have a clue how to put a dish together, and HOLY BALLS HE IS SENT HOME BEFORE ROBIN.

Honestly, if I was one of his boys, I would NEVER EVER let him live this down. I don’t care what he says, that is going to haunt him forever. His mom’s a vegan for fucks’ sake.

God it was fun.

Anyway, let’s go back to the beginning.

The quickfire was a cute idea. Or maybe I just liked the little set they had built. The chefs have to cook a spin on a TV dinner based on various TV shows ranging form the Sopranos to Gilligan’s Island to MASH to The Flinstones.

Once again, there are things that come out about Kevin that only add to his repertoire. Turns out his entire family lives on the same street and his Grandma still cooks breakfast for the entire family.

Every morning.

He has inspiration for food coming out of his ass.

Once again, Jen is off her game and it shows in her food. She’s in the bottom two with Robin, whose quickfire dish was a little all over the place. The overcooked egg wrapped in overcooked beef did not look yummy in the least bit.

Despite the fact that Eli is far too young to have seen Gilligan’s Island, I will give him credit for the direction he took. He wasn’t in the top or bottom, but he had a good plan for the TV dinner.

Mike V. had the idea to do something you might see in a bar (his show was Cheers), but I don’t think bar food is his specialty. I was thinking he’d do something that you’d find in Boston, but what do I know?

Bryan nails the quickfire by making some kind of Korean beef that you might find during the Korean war (MASH). He sticks with his type of food and ends up in the top 2 with Kevin.

Kevin wins for his family style dish.

For the elimination challenge, the chefs are going to take over Craft Steak in Las Vegas. They spend the night before the challenge talking about what they’ll make. Kevin says that cooking meat is right up his alley. Isabella swears he’s comfortable. And then adds some, “It is what it is..” statement. Or maybe it was, “I don’t care what I cook. I cook anything. I cook dogs.”

He’s such a fucking idiot.

Eli says cooking steak isn’t really his thing. He also says that Natalie’s most important role ever Star Wars. It is very hard for me to refrain from making fun of him for that comment.

The next day, the chefs find out that they’ll be cooking for Natalie (Isabella looks like he jizzed in his pants in the kitchen, but maybe that’s his “My mom’s a vegan, I’m going to nail this challenge” face) and that she’s a vegetarian.

Isabella states that he’s going to use leeks to make them look like Scallops, which seems like a rip-off of Richard Blais’ scallop-looking bananas. Isabella then says that he has over 60 vegetarian items on his menu and again proclaims that he is not worried.

And then Kevin drops ANOTHER gem. Seriously. Is there anything that Kevin does NOT know about food and cooking? This week we also learn that he is a vegetarian for part of the year during lent. Which will most definitely help him in the challenge. Again, he’s just smart about so many different things.

The biggest key being that Kevin likes to eat. And he likes to be full. So, if he spends part of the year being a vegetarian and likes to be full, he certainly knows how to cook a dish that will be tasty and satisfying.

A lot of the chefs fell short in terms of putting together a dish that didn’t come across as a side dish.

Robin doesn’t focus and I can almost understand that. I have the same feeling when I go to Whole Foods. Even if I walk into that store with an idea, I become overwhelmed with how many wonderful things there are to pick from. She gets a little caught up by all the different ingredients in the walk-in and decides to work with things she’s never used before.

She admits that she cooked with her head spinning, which seems to be the case every week.

No matter. She’s still better than Isabella.

Giggle. Giggle.

Mike V. makes some Mike V looking thing, but at this point he’s even starting to wear on my nerves. He’s a very good chef, but he’s a jerk. Period.

His plate is very pretty and he gets the exact reaction from Natalie that he was hoping for. She’s confused, and giddy, and enamored. She says his plate of food is the kind of thing that makes you ask, “Who is your dealer and does he want more clients?”

I almost fell out of my chair.

Jen’s is a mess again. Her hands are shaking uncontrollably as she puts her sauce on the dishes table-side.

Clearly she needs a drink.

In the end, the top 3 are Eli, Mike V. and Kevin. It’s cute how excited Eli is to be in the top 3.

Kevin wins and it’s disgusting how bitter Mike V. is in his loss. That was the final straw with me.

The bottom 3 are Jen, Robin and Isabella. There are problems with all of them, but it’s probably Isabella’s douchiness and lack of accountability for how poor his dish was that sends him home.

He’ll be licking his tats over that one for a while.

Peace out playa’. (Bonus points if you know what movie that line is from)

I suck at life.

That was a little dramatic.

I suck at the Q&As this year. I’m trying to be better, and it’s much easier when I have someone like Josh Frankel to work with.

When I went back to Eugene for the Cal game, I saw so many different people that would have been great for a Q&A. If I wasn’t 17 Coronas deep all weekend, I would have asked 10 different people a question and posted all the responses.

I did run into Josh Frankel, however, and we got caught up. We both recently got married and also have very fond memories of being at Oregon. I told him about the blog and how I do the Q&As and mentioned that Jared Siegel had done one.

His response was somewhere along the lines of, “Dude. I have had way more game winners than Jared. I need to be on the blog.”

He might not have said Dude, but it was something along those lines.

How fitting is it that I finally motivate to do another Q&A during SC week where Josh is a hero in his own right?

Seriously…from third-string walk-on to hero in 2 seconds. Against USC.

Love it.

1. Introduce yourself:

My name is Josh Frankel and I was a field goal kicker for the Ducks from 1996-2000. I finished my career in the University’s Top 10 in terms of career field goal percentage, and earned ALL-PAC 10 Honorable Mention as a junior. Most people remember me for that dramatic triple OT game-winning kick against USC in 1999. At the time, I was a third-string walk on kicker and figured to have as much to do with that game as anyone in the stands. By the end of the game, I was on my way to earning a scholarship and making my dreams of being a 1st-string PAC-10 kicker a reality.

Since college, I have worked for the EJ Gallo Winery, General Motors R*Works. I returned to Eugene for my MBA from 2004-2006. Currently, I work for Merrill Lynch in Portland helping a finite number of families with their financial planning. And best of all, I am a newlywed! I married Amy Swerdlin Frankel on May 9, 2009. No kids, but we have a dog, Rocky. I’m always open to communicating with fellow Ducks at joshdfrankel@gmail.com.

2. You seem to have a good track record in USC games. Can you explain what that feels like?

Every win in the PAC-10 is important. But, being from LA, as are many guys on the team, it’s always awesome to beat USC and UCLA. I don’t recall our overall record versus USC during my playing years, but I definitely remember 1999! Even ten years after that crazy triple OT game, I still enjoy going home to LA and chatting with high school buddies who attended USC. I also had the honor of being a game captain for the game at USC in 2000. It was truly special to be in front of my entire family and call the coin toss! Being on the field against USC and UCLA is incredible, but beating them is something else!

3. What are your thoughts on this week’s game and what Oregon needs to do to come away with a win?

I like our chances. We’re playing at a very high level right now and I think we present a lot of problems for USC. I’m hardly a coach, but here are my keys to success:

Defense: Eliminate the big play. Make USC earn its points. No 50+ yard plays. Be plus 2 on turnovers. No personal foul penalties.

Offense: Run the ball and be aggressive. Take time of the clock to make sure hte defense is well rested. Capitalize on turnovers. Limit penalties.

Special teams: Be Special! Win the field position game, kick 2-3 field goals and put kickoffs and punts into corners to limit big returns.

Autzen: Fans be loud!! Get in mind of the USC QB. He’s never heard anything like the magic of Autzen! The fans have a chance to win this game for the Ducks!

4. Do you make it back to Autzen for a lot of games? How is it different being in the stands than on the field.

Yes, I try to get back at least once or twice a season – and was in Seattle last weekend.

Being a fan is definitely much more fun! It’s obviously different being in the stands as you don’t have the same level of responsibility as those on the field. But it’s still a lot of work to be a Ducks fan. The players on the field rely on the people in the stands to be loud and relentless! It’s what makes playing at Autzen stadium the most intimidating stadium in NCAA. At this point in my life I truly enjoy being in the stands, but there was a time being on the field was the greatest thing in the world.

5. If my memory is correct, you had 3-game winning field goals while at Oregon. Can you describe the feeling from the time you know you will probably have to kick a game-deciding field goal until the time you’re off the field and in the locker room?

Good memory! Yes, had three game-winning kicks. But who’s counting….USC, Arizona and WSU. The best part of a game is you don’t know what’s going to happen. You don’t know if you’re going to win big, lose big, or be in an all-out war until the final whistle. That’s what makes sports so great and why people chew off their fingers when watching. It’s the ultimate reality TV.

In terms of the emotions and feelings that you experience leading up to a game winning kick – The three games that we won on a field goal, I remember feeling incredibly calm and 100% in the moment. I didn’t worry about making the kick or missing it – I just kicked the ball. Sounds simple in theory, but it’s about having confidence and faith in your teammates that everything is going to go according to plan. Even 10 years later, I can vividly feel and experience the moments leading to the kick, to the kick itself and being in the locker room after the kick. I can still hear the pop of the ball going off my foot. Every kick was a powerful and wonderful memory, but the game winning kicks will stay with me forever.

6. What do you remember most about playing in Autzen stadium?

The rules are different now, but I used to love when the fans rushed the field after every game. I loved signing autographs and giving kids my wristbands. Made the experience much more meaningful to share it with the fans.

7. Who were your funniest teammates?

I think most guys would say Eric Nicolaisen. He is truly hilarious. Keep your eyes open for him on various commercials…

8. Can you recall a funny on-the-field moment?

Kickers were always up to something funny (or odd) during games and at practice. We kept ourselves entertained at practice by playing practical jokes on each other. One of the jokes was to throw a football in the direction of a porta-potty whenever someone entered the restroom. One day a couple of us kickers saw Coach Bellotti enter the porta-potty. We told fellow kicker Dan Katz (who didn’t see Coach go in) that he could get revenge against another player who got him earlier. Dan started to slowly approach the pot and his left arm cocked and ready to fire. And all of a sudden Coach Bellotti walked out of the porta-potty. Dan had to quickly abort mission and when he turned around we were all on the ground laughing. Still brings a smile to my face to think of that.

9. What do you miss most about playing collegiate football?

Two things: First, the comradery was unbelievably special and I am who I am today in large part for being on the Oregon team. Second, there’s a line that says “football is life,” and I assure you that this is an astute observation! The life lessons learned from football are plentiful. For instance I learned something about all of the following: handling competition, overcoming obstacles, team work, hard work, persistence, dedication, patience, poise, ambition, managing others expectations, success, responsibility, community, reliability, consistency…the list could go on and on. To say the least, I learned a lot about life from being a collegiate football player and I use these lessons everyday.


10. What do you miss least?

The weight room squats! Sorry Coach Rad! I had three knee surgeries during school from squatting and I still pay the price from those. However, my 410 squat was 5th all time among kickers/QBs, good enough for the record book! So the surgeries were well worth it, but I don’t squat much anymore.

11. What were your thoughts after the Boise State game and how do you feel about how the team has rallied since then?

Like most Duck fans, I was embarrassed after the game. Not so much by the loss, but by the melee that followed. One of the most important elements of being a competitive athlete is self-control. You must practice self-discipline and keep emotions under control at all times. Good judgment and common sense are essential on and off the field. Unfortunately, in a moment of weakness that was captured on national television, the Ducks and the University were exposed – and negatively portrayed in the media.

However, I gained a lot of respect for Coach Kelly for his quick and decisive actions, and his ability to keep the team moving forward. And I thought keeping Blount on the team and letting him practice was a genuine sign that Kelly truly cared about Blount as a person. He knew Blount needed the team, even if the team didn’t need Blount. I am very proud of how the whole situation has been handled and I look forward to Blount’s return in a couple weeks. I am sure Blount is grateful for this second chance and let’s all hope that he makes the most of it.

The team as a whole also deserves a ton of respect for their poise since the Boise State game. All teams experience hardships, but great ones find ways to overcome the adversity. From what I have seen since Boise State, the Ducks are flying together and representing UO alumni with pride.


12. Will you be at the game on Saturday?

Unfortunately I won’t be at the game. Amy and I are going on our honeymoon this week. We’re off to Belize on Friday night!! But I’ll be thinking of the game and sending positive vibes from the beach in Belize!

13. Seriously. How good is Morgan Flint?
He’s Mr. reliable! I think he’s going to knock me out of #10 on career field goal %!!!

Roger that.

And we open with a shot of Jen in her bikini.

She is talking to Laurine, who tells us that as it dwindles down the best chef’s are left and she’s happy to still be in the competition.

The quick fire challenge was brillz. Seriously, that was a good way to challenge the chefs without throwing them in the desert with 100 degree heat and no ovens. It still had it’s flaws – by the time the fourth chef cooked, they had been blind folded for 30 minutes! Kevin looked like he stumbled out of the drunk tank.

How sad was Jen that Mike V. had the the second choice knife? You KNOW she wanted to pick him. Clearly she thinks Kevin is better than Bryan as she picks Kevin. Or maybe she’s trying to be smart – putting the Brothers V on the same team could also mean big trouble.

Eli continues on the Isabella douche tour when he basically takes everything but the kitchen sink out of the refrigerator and pantry to set up the second chef on his team. He has no vision as to what he’s starting – he’s basically piling up a bunch of shit so that the remaining chefs can figure something out. Yet, he proudly proclaims that he has a modern style similar to the Brothers V. He also notes that Robin is somewhere left of Mars in terms of the “kind of food WE do”, again trying to put himself in the same league as the Brothers V.

Bitch please.

If Robin is somewhere left of Mars, then you’re somewhere right of Mars.

On the other hand, Jen had a clear plan of a dish and she set everything up for Laurine. Of course Laurine has no fucking clue what is going on and removes the thyme from the oil on the stove. Why would Jennifer do a fried thyme garnish? WTF.

Robin is equally as clueless coming after Eli and starts to prepare a … are you ready for this? A CAESAR salad.

That’s all I can say about that. Good plan by the Brothers V to go 3rd and 4th so they can clean up the mess.

As the last chefs step in, it’s clear that Jen’s team has a much better shot. While Kevin doesn’t poach the fish as Jen had planned, at least he knew what she wanted to do. She had set up a pretty good station early on, and it wasn’t that hard for Kevin to put out a good plate. Mike V., though, had a tougher task as his team had no vision whatsoever so he was basically starting from scratch with 10 minutes to go.

So, Jen’s team wins and Laurine claims that she is excited to win because she’s been in the middle. Guess what? You’re still in the middle – of Kevin and Jen. That’s why you won. Isabella is also in the middle. I am not exactly sure what he brought to the dish in his 10 minutes.

We are now ready for Restaurant Wars!!

The teams are actually perfect. Both have two really strong chefs, one decent chef and one weak chef. Could you imagine if it had been Kevin, Jen and the Brother’s V? Wow.

Anyway, both teams seem to agree on a menu fairly easily. Of course Bryan and Mike have to banter, but it’s hard to argue with Mike V. I will have to disagree with the fan poll in which 65% of viewers thought Bryan is a better chef. Mike is hands down more creative with his use of flavors and components.

Eli and Laurine are the ones who will work the front of the house. Eli looks like a disheveled mess who lives at home with his mom and hasn’t matured since the age of 12.

I love the name Revolt. How stupid is Robin? She gets one letter and also thinks it sound great.

Once the teams start cooking, it becomes clear that Jen is flustered and in over her head. I thought it was really impressive that she prepared the plates to order, but it seemed to really take her out of her element. She’s known for her sauces, and even that didn’t go right for her.

It’s hard to say what happened with Kevin. He mentions that there was miscommunication with Laurine, and throughout the challenge, it’s clear that Laurine is screwing up the team dynamic. Usually Kevin isn’t affected by outside factors, but this goes to show how running a restaurant requires a well-rounded team.

With some help from Mike V., Robin’s dish is refined and she doesn’t hinder their team. Yeah, she whines when he tries to help with her dessert, but that’s because she has no idea how to run a restaurant.

It was a mistake not to have a dessert for Jen’s team. I can’t speak for everyone, but I always want something sweet to top off a perfect meal. Bryan’s Chocolate Ganache with Spearmint Ice Cream and Chocolate Tuiles looked so yummy.

I ate a Kit Kat to quell my craving. It totally didn’t work, but I tried.

Both Bryan and Mike V.s dishes looked stunning when they came out. At that point, it was pretty obvious who the winning team would be. They couldn’t stop eating Mike’s Chicken and Calamari Pasta and his second dish, Cod with Mussel Billi-Bi was apparently, “melt in your mouth”.

The other team doesn’t start off nearly as well, as Padma asks for salt. It’s never a good sign if a judge (or any patron) has to ask for salt. Also, with Jen preparing the plates to order, it takes way too long for the second course to come out. However, she seems to snap at Laurine that she has been asking about the judges table, leading one to wonder yet again if Laurine has any idea what she is doing.

The dishes for Jen’s team don’t seem to improve as the dinner wears on. Kevin’s dish seems OK and they like it, but they are clearly not wowed by this team in the same way they were by the blue team.

In the end, it’s Mike V. who wins the elimination challenge and Laurine who goes home. Robin is saved by her dessert.

After watching the Bravo Restaurant Wars marathon all day, I have to say that I agree with Tom C. – The Brothers V. team blew every other season away. That food was legit.

Mike offers to split his 10 grand with the team, but Bryan wants no part of it.

Bryan – it’s money. Put your emotions aside and take it.

By the way, I’m also Aiming Low today.

It definitely hit me this week how much work planning meals can be. I think what pushes me through is knowing that we’re saving money and eating healthy. But, there are times during the week when I just want to make a frozen pizza or walk down the street for sushi.

I went to San Diego on Saturday to have dinner with my friend Erin for her birthday. Being diligent about menu planning and eating at home all month has REALLY helped me appreciate going out to dinner. We had THE BEST DINNER at Market Restaurant in Del Mar. The food was simply amazing. I am still thinking about it as I write this.

Anyway, here’s what we ate last week.

Sunday, October 11
Balsamic BBQ Chicken, Baby red baked potatoes and Corn on the cob.
(From Giada De Laurentiis on Foodnetwork.com)

In an effort to keep this blog somewhat short, I linked the recipe for the chicken above. The baby reds don’t really have a recipe. I just microwaved them for about 6 minutes and topped with butter and light sour cream. I chose the baby reds because they’re smaller than russet potatoes. I made a chili-lime butter sauce for the corn, which is basically a mixture of butter, lime juice and chili powder. I always use the grill for cooking chicken. I put the marinade on during the last five minutes of cooking.

Monday, October 12
Left over bbq balsamic chicken and side salad.

Rather than using the iceberg salad bag, I made a quick arugula salad with strawberries, walnuts and bleu cheese.

Tuesday, October 13
Grilled Chicken Ceasar salad

I don’t really follow a recipe for this. But, here’s a breakdown of how I make it (This is for 2 servings One head of romaine makes two huge salads, but it’s our dinner so it needs to be filling).

Ingredients
1 head romaine lettuce
2 chicken breasts
Freshly shredded Parmesan cheese
Olive oil
Salt, pepper, garlic salt to taste
Caesar dressing

Drizzle the chicken breasts with olive oil. Season with salt, pepper and garlic salt. Grill chicken until done (about 5 minutes on each side). While the chicken is cooking, slice the romaine lettuce and grate the cheese. I use about 1/4 cup of cheese. Toss the lettuce and cheese with Caesar dressing. Put the salad on the plate, slice the chicken and add to the top.

Wednesday, October 14

Turkey Burger and Oven Fries
Turkey Burger Recipe from The Best Life Diet Cookbook by Bob Greene
Oven Fries courtesy of Tyler Florence

These are super tasty. I added a little extra garlic for more flavor. We used whole wheat buns. I also added cheese to Laef’s. Also, I did not make bread crumbs from bread. I used store-bought bread crumbs.

Ingredients:
1 pound ground turkey breast
1/4 onion , shredded, on the large holes of a hand grater or in a food processor
1/4 cup finely chopped green onion (scallion)
2 slices whole wheat bread , toasted and processed in a food processor for 1 minute to make crumbs
1/4 cup Better ‘n Eggs or 1 egg, beaten
2 cloves garlic, finely chopped
1/8 tsp. ground mustard
Black pepper to taste
Vegetable oil cooking spray
4 whole wheat hamburger buns (about 115 calories each)
1 Tbsp. mustard
8 leaves lettuce
8 thick slices tomato
4 slices red onion

Thoroughly mix the turkey, onion, green onion, bread crumbs, egg, garlic, mustard and pepper to taste in a large bowl. Form the mixture into 4 patties.

Heat a large, heavy-bottomed skillet over medium heat.

Lightly coat the pan with cooking spray and place the patties in the pan. Cook
until the pink just disappears in the center, about 4 minutes on each side, or until a thermometer inserted into the center of the burger reads 160°.

Slice the buns. Spread each top with mustard. Place the lettuce, tomato, onion and a
burger on the bottom bun and cover with the top. Serve.

OVEN FRIES
Serves 4
Recipe courtesy Tyler Florence

2 russet potatoes, cut in half lengthwise, halves cut lengthwise into fourths to make 16 big, fat wedges
1/4 cup extra-virgin olive oil
Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper
1/4 cup freshly grated Parmigiano-Reggiano cheese
2 tablespoons chopped parsley

Preheat the oven to 425˚F. Toss the potatoes with the olive oil and 3/4 teaspoon salt in a large bowl. Then dump the potatoes out onto a baking sheet, spreading to a single layer. Roast for 30 to 35 minutes, shaking the pan every now and then, until the potatoes are cooked through, brown and crispy. Toss the fries in a big bowl with the parsley and cheese.

Thursday, October 15
Homemade Pizza and side salad

There are endless possibilities for pizza. Sometimes I buy a whole-wheat Boboli pizza crust, sometimes I buy fresh pizza dough from Trader Joes. Boboli also sells pizza sauce, and that’s what I typically use. I buy a block of mozzarella and grate it (it’s much creamer and fresher than buying the already shredded cheese). This time around I topped the pizza with mushrooms, onions and sausage.

Friday, October 16
Laef had basketball practice at 7:30 p.m. so we had left over turkey burgers. That’s the thing about cooking for 2 – most recipes serve 4 people.

Saturday, October 17
I went out to dinner with friends on this night and when I called Laef to see what he had for dinner, he mentioned something about CheezIts.

Until next week!

The montages of Robin talking about every fucking thing in front of her face and the other chefs mocking her are going to be out of control.

AND she’s going to be a part of restaurant wars.

Wow.

While I admit that I find the bits on Robin humorous, I am also saddened to find out that maybe we never grow out of high school. These people were acting so catty (“Rotten Robin” “You’re not my mom!” “I hope they send Grandma home”) that I was almost MORE embarrassed for them than I was for her completely soggy looking Brined Center Cut Pork Chop.

So, Robin survives after sucking in both the quick fire and the elimination challenge, but let’s be honest, Ash and Laurine were not far behind her. However, you don’t hear the other chefs lamenting either of those two.

Which only proves that you can suck ass, but if you hang with the cool kids, life is easier.

I thought it was going to be Robin going home, but apparently the judges have realized that Ash has no business being there anymore. At least Robin does her own thing (although I’m not sure she ever knows what exactly she is doing). Ash is so busy tea-bagging every other chef in the competition that he will listen to anything they say.

I mean, seriously. Isabella tells you to make COLD pork and you do it? I simply did not get that. AT ALL. And, frankly, I’m just sick of him acting like a sous chef to the other competitors. Put your big boy pants on and pretend you should be there.

On the other hand, Kevin is once again stellar. This guy is the front runner. Not only does he put out tasty, simple, well thought out food every week, he seems so unaffected. I think that’s going to be the key.

Kevin has found a way to be accepted by the “cool kids” yet not be a bully. He admits that Robin is a little annoying, but it doesn’t fuck him up the way it does the others. Eli and Isabella might be better chefs than Robin, but they’re embarrassing themselves just as much.

Also, Kevin is just smart. Everytime a new guest judge arrives, Kevin has either read their book or knows quite a bit about them and their style. This week he’s all like, “Oh I used to live in Oregon and I’ve been to this winery and I know they have hazelnut trees and thus I’ve incorporated hazelnut.”

He’s smart. And, his food is so unpretentious. I love Michael V’s creativity, but Kevin’s food comes off much warmer and more comforting. I mean, he made a play off of green bean casserole in the quick fire challenge. It was a perfect pairing – he nailed the concept with a dish that people can relate to.

Kevin didn’t win the quick fire challenge, but he was in the top 3. He did, however, win the elimination challenge, which challenged the chefs to work with Food and Wine Magazine as part of Charlie Palmer’s Pig and Pinot event.

Simply put: pair pork with pinot. Um. Why was I not invited?

Also in the top of the elimination challenge – Jen and the Brothers V. I will just start referring them as “The Crew”. A crew that Isabella SO wants to be in. And, maybe he is in the crew at 11 p.m. when they’re all picking on Robin and drinking beer, but he is SO not in the crew when they’re cooking in the kitchen. He’s not in the top and not in the bottom. He’s somewhere in the middle.

With Robin. And Laurine. Still there. But not winning anything.

Next week is restaurant wars and it looks as though the Brothers V are on the same team, which you’d think would be a slam dunk, but with two huge egos and whatever baggage they have, who knows. It also looks as though Robin is on their team.

Fun times.

One last note. It was complete bullshit that this week’s guest judge was so familiar with both Voltaggio brothers. I understand that as the show presses on season after season, this might be the case. But, they need to avoid it. Yeah, it wasn’t an issue because neither of them won the quick fire or the elimination, but it seemed “off” nonetheless.

Today I’m spending the day over at Aiming Low writing about how we don’t have our marriage license yet even though it was supposed to be a fool-proof process. Long story short, we’re going to need to make another trip to the LA courthouse and I think I’d rather spend the day at the OBGYN.

Seriously.

So, we will add “going to the courthouse” to our insanely long list of shit to do.

I don’t know what is going on lately, but I am struggling to keep my head above water. I have written about this in the past – how it feels like we always have things to do, places to go, lunches to make, laundry to fold.

Nothing has changed except that I’m just pretty much exhausted all the time right now. I am having an exceptionally hard time making myself get out of bed for work. There’s a lane closed on the 405 right now and it has made the commute that much more sucky.

I am so tired of getting home at 7 p.m. when I clock out at 5:30 p.m. It is starting to depress and wear me down.

The truth of the matter is that, I want to be home. I wish I could be a stay at home wife. Not because I don’t have professional dreams and aspirations, but because I’m passionate about our home, our lives, our well being and our quality of life.

I wish I could come home from work and tell myself that the world really won’t end if I don’t make something for dinner. Or that if Laef doesn’t do the dishes, nothing bad will happen.

But, I am anal about taking care of us. I can’t have the house be messy. I can’t have laundry sitting out. And, I REALLY can’t have dishes everywhere.

So I put this pressure on myself to grind through all of the things that need to be done AFTER a long day of work.

It’s exhausting.

I really need to aim a LOT lower and just chill the fuck out.

Well, here goes. I am making a commitment to blogging out our menus, and hopefully I can stick to it better than I have the Oregon Football Q&As.

As you are aware, Laef and I try to budget our money as best we can. I love to cook, and in the past, our grocery bill was getting out of hand because of my frequent trips to the grocery store.

So, in an effort to shore things up, I decided to plan out the entire month. It takes a couple of hours because I read through cookbooks to come up with new ideas and I also have to write my shopping list as I’m organizing the menu.

There are two lists, actually. The first list is everything I can get on our big trip. The second list consists of things I will need to get later for certain recipes – mainly produce or other perishables that I don’t want to buy at the beginning of the month if I’m not using them until the end of the month.

I will admit that it is a lot of work. For me it doesn’t seem like work because I really enjoy cooking. I enjoy reading cook books and coming up with new ideas.

Anyway, here’s how the first week of October went.

Sunday, October 4
One of the first things I do when planning the month is fill in certain days with staples that we make every month. One of our staples is Sour Cream Enchiladas (From Quick and Healthy Vol. 2). Since I have already written a blog about this, I am not going to type everything out. You can read the blog here.

One note. I have since switched from using non-fat sour cream to low-fat. My good friend Erin pointed out that there’s not much difference in the two except for the fact that non-fat is basically water.

Point taken.

My sister didn’t love these because she said they were bland. You can add extra chili powder, or extra spices. I put hot sauce on mine (then again, what DON’T I put hot sauce on) and have been known to whip up some guacamole.

I use large tortillas now, and make five enchiladas per batch. I have used smaller enchiladas in the past to make 8, but seriously, we don’t need to eat these five days in a row.

Monday, October 5
Left over Sour Cream Enchiladas and Side Salad.

I always buy a bag of the iceberg lettuce salad. It’s a very quick and easy way to have something healthy to go with your main course. I usually add some tomatoes and red onions on mine. Laef adds 4lbs of cheddar cheese on his.

Tuesday, October 6
Rotisserie Chicken Soft Tacos With Cilantro

First of all, buy your Rotisserie chicken fresh. The hardest part about this recipe is not eating all of the chicken as you take it apart.

One chicken can be used for at least three recipes, so first thing is to take all of the meat off and put in a Tupperware container.

Here is what you will need for the soft tacos.

- Rotisserie Chicken
- Uncooked Flour tortillas
- 1 bunch cilantro
- Shredded cheddar cheese
- Guacamole (You can make your own fresh or buy store bought)
- Diced onion
- Lowfat sour cream
- Dash hot sauce

Here’s the deal. You can eliminate any of the above ingredients or add whatever you like (salsa, tomatoes, etc.). I make a quick side of guacamole with avacado, lime juice, salt, pepper, chopped onion, cayenne pepper instead of buying store bought. Store bought Guac is very expensive.

As for uncooked tortillas. If you have never tried these, you must. This were introduced to me by Erin (the same Erin who encourages fattier sour cream) and they make a soft taco, egg burrito or bean burrito 1234758347 times tastier. You can find them at Costco or your local grocer. Here’s one brand:

They take all of 2 minutes to cook and the are so light and fresh tasting. You can get a great browning on them, which only adds to the taste. Of course, you can use regular flour tortillas for this recipe.

Anyway, there’s not much to do. I cook up the tortillas, put them in aluminum foil to stay warm. Then I lather my tortilla with sour cream, guac, chicken, cilantro, onions, cheese and hot sauce.

Wednesday, October 7
Chicken Panini with Pesto & Mozzarella
From Williams-Sonoma Food Made Fast – Grilling

The book gives a recipe for a Grilled Whole Chicken, but to make things easier, I bought the Rotisserie Chicken at the store.

Ingridients
- Grilled chicken brest meat cut into 6 slices (approx. 5 oz)
- Pesto (3T purchased)
- Sandwich bread
- Fresh mozzarella cheese, cut into 8 thin slices
- Roasted red pepper in vinegar (1 small, halved)
- Arugula (6 oz)
- Unsalted butter at room temp

Directions
1. Prepare the sandwiches: Spread pesto on the bread slices. For each sandwich, layer 2 mozzarella slices; half each of the red pepper, the chicken, and the arugula; and 2 more mozzarella slices.

2. Refrigerate the sandwiches: Spread the outside of each sandwich with half of the butter. Put the sandwiches on a sheet of waxed paper and refrigerate until the butter is firm, about 20 minutes. (NOTE: I totally did not do this. I put the butter on and cooked right away. They turned out fine).

3. Cook the sandwiches: Preheat a ridged frying pan or grill pan over medium heat until hot. Place sandwiches in the pan and weight down with a second frying pan. Cook until the undersides are golden, about 2.5 minutes. Turn, weight sandwiches again, and cook until the second sides are golden, about 2.5 minutes longer. Cut in half and serve.

These were delicious. I served with a can of soup. (And, yes, I know I need a new camera).

Thursday, October 8
Stove Top Mac ‘n Cheese with Hot Dogs

I got this from This Week’s Menu, and it apparently originated from Evil Shenanigans. The hot sauce gives it a pretty fierce kick, so if you’re making it for kids, might omit that. We don’t usually have hot dogs on the menu, but my mom sent us some franks from Omaha Steaks, and they were quite tasty. I grilled them on a grill pan as opposed to boiling them.

makes 2-3 servings (can easily be doubled)
8 oz. elbow macaroni (or other small tube shaped pasta)
1 T butter
6 oz. evaporated milk (I used 2%)
6 oz. freshly grated cheese
1 egg, beaten
*1 t dry mustard powder
1/4 t crushed red peppers
hot sauce to taste
salt and pepper to taste

Boil the pasta according to package directions but reduce the cooking time by 1 minute. While pasta is cooking mix the egg, milk and spices. Drain and return the pasta to the pot. Add the butter and stir until melted over medium-low heat. Add the milk mixture. Stir until it begins to thicken, about 3-5 minutes. Remove the pan from the heat and add the cheese in four installments, making sure the first is melted completely before adding the next.

We went out to dinner with friends on Friday and on Saturday we had In ‘N Out after going to the Oregon vs. UCLA game. Sorry the week is technically incomplete.

So, Jen was sick, did shitty in the Quick Fire, but came back to win the elimination challenge in the end.

I guess being sick works the same way for Jen as it did for Michael Jordan. I would have liked to have tasted her Tomato-Cardomon Broth – seems like a pretty basic thing to win for, so it must have been really flavorful and a perfect combo for Kevin’s Kobe beef.

Speaking of Kevin. I’m starting to think that my friend Ben is right. Kevin is solid every week, and has shown no effects of being mentally strained by the challenges of the show.

Jen mentioned this week how it can be draining. Michael V. looked like he was going to throw up after putting out bad Halibut and Bryan got a little testy with Kevin in the waiting room.

But, every week, Kevin calmly rises to the challenge and puts out great food. Major props for taking the money over them immunity – he has confidence in his food. Despite the fact that he has never cooked Asian food, he put out TWO amazing dishes this week – winning the quick fire with his Char Grilled Pork with Daikon and Vietnamese Herb Salad while also landing in the top 2 with his Asian-inspired Kobe beef dish with Jen.

The bottom consisted of the Ash and Michael V. team and the Ashley and Eli team. I appreciate Ash’s love of Michael V. (although, learning that Mike V. has two kids has totally ruined my crush), but it was way too over the top. Ash seemed to step out of the competition for this challenge, and instead went to work for Mike. He did try to make suggestions, and it was obvious that Mike V. wasn’t going to listen, but Ash never put up a fight. Clearly he doesn’t plan to be here very long.

I thought Ashley and Eli’s dish looked pretty, but from the sounds of it, it didn’t taste good and Ashley is sent home. I’m sure the bottom two came down to Ash and Ashley, and Ashley went home because she basically spearheaded their dish. I guess Ash’s plan to sit back worked this time.

I was hoping for a little more drama out of the Robin and Isabella pairing. All I got was extreme douchey-ness from Isabella. He acted as though he didn’t have a partner, taking full credit for the dish, using “I” instead of “we” most of the time. I get that he’s better than Robin, but for fucks’ sake, have some humility.

He’s a huge tool, and frankly, what the fuck does he know how to cook? Every week he talks about his cuisine and how he knows this or knows that. Yet, all I hear him say is: “How do you do deconstructed Bernaise?” or “What is eggs Florentine” or “I’ve never worked with Asian food…I don’t know most of these ingredients.”

Having said that, I’m not exactly sure what Robin knows how to cook. And when Padma told her that curry wasn’t Middle Eastern, I wanted to crawl in a hole. So awkward. Robin had no idea. She’s going to go eat an Orange now. And tell you about it.

By the way, that was some jumpsuit Padma was wearing. And that bitch was probably 6-months pregnant.

My niece Sophie is taking cooking classes so maybe when Top Chef Season 18 rolls around we’ll be discussing her techniques.

Apparently, Laef and I are DINKS. I have been called this before, but over the past two weeks it has come up three times.

Double Income No Kids.

People say it as though that means we’re rolling in the dough or something.

When really all it means is we’re rolling in Vodka and WoW.

Sure, we don’t spend half our income on day care, diapers and Dora, but we make up for it by taking lavish trips to Eugene, Ann Arbor and San Diego.

I guess in a sense being a DINK has its perks. But, it can be dehydrating.

In other news…

Because I spent two hours developing our menu for this month, I have decided that I will blog out our weekly meals. I know not that many people give two shits about what we eat for dinner, but my brother has asked for tips and ideas before, so basically it’s for him.

Our meals are predicated on leftovers, so if you’re one of those freaks that hates left overs, don’t bother reading. Obviously, I don’t have the time or energy to cook every night of the week, so I will usually make a few dishes on Sunday that can carry us through to Wednesday. Then we’ll have something simple on Thursday and Friday. If we are home, I use the grill on Saturday and start everything over Sunday.

There are a ton of food blogs out there, including this one, which I love and refer to often. I’m not breaking new ground here, just blogging about cooking and meal planning because I like it and it makes me happy.

I’m a DINK. I have nothing better to do with my time.

I did realize the other day as I made blueberry pancakes that it is much easier to spend hours in the kitchen cooking if you don’t have kids running all over the place. That should be an interesting challenge.

Other DINKY things we’re up to:

I ran the Manhattan Beach 10K. Dude. Six miles is a fucking walk in the park compared to 13. I finished in 58 minutes, which was my goal. Probably could have cut about 4 minutes off of that time if every single child in Manhattan Beach was not participating in the race. Seriously, the first two miles were spent trying not to run over 7-year-olds in flip flops.

Next up: Trying to break two hours in the Surf City Half Marathon in Huntington Beach. I’m debating training for a full in 2010, but if I’m no longer a DINK, it might be too hard.

Laef had a furlough day yesterday. He spent the day at Home Depot, making new screens, cleaning the litter box, reorganizing our storage unit, washing his car and doing dishes. Totally not what he envisioned, I am sure.

Total DINKS.

Lovesit.