Tales from La La Land

This weekend marks the one-year anniversary of my first-ever half marathon.

You can read all about my experience at The Surf City Half Marathon here. That was a fun day. Except for the part about parking miles away from the race and having to walk that far after running 13 miles. I never would have thought that beer could taste SO good that early in the morning. Or that it would feel so good after running.

Since that first race, I’ve run two other half marathons and a 10K.

This weekend, I will run the Surf City for the second time, again with my sister Brooke.

But, it’s different this year. Originally, my goal was to finish the race in 2 hours or less. Now that I’m training for the Eugene Marathon in May, this weekend is simply a training run. While I know that it will be difficult to slow myself down and not get caught up in the adrenaline of a race, I wish that every long training run had me surrounded by thousands of other runners, beer at the finish line, spectators with signs and a cool surfboard medal.

Usually a half marathon would be my peak. It would be the reward for months of training, and I would take at least a week off afterward. Now I can’t think like that. I have to run 13 miles on Sunday and resume running on Tuesday. We’ll see how that goes.

At this point, I don’t know what my goals or expectations for the marathon will be. Right now I want to get through the next three weeks of back-to-back-to-back long runs and see if my body holds up. Assuming it does, my goal will likely be to finish the race without having to walk at all.

Having said that, I was talking to Laef the other night and mentioned that deep down my hope is that I can finish the full marathon in 5 hours. (Which is insane because I could drive all the way to my parents house in Sacramento in that amount of time, so I have no idea WHY on Earth I think it will be fun to run for that long).

Without hesitation Laef said: “As long as you finish faster than Oprah.”

Of course, neither of us had any idea how long it took Oprah to run her marathon.

After some quick googling I found out.

4:29:20.

SHIT.

The fastest I have ever run a half marathon is 2:06. Double that and I would run the marathon in 4 hours, 12 minutes.

But, I can pretty much guarantee that I won’t be maintaining that pace over miles 20-26 in my first-ever marathon. So, it’s more realistic to think I’d finish in closer to 5 hours.

However, Oprah ran this shit in 4 and a half hours!

I really want to beat Oprah.

If I don’t though, there are other famous people that I think I could beat and still feel happy:

Mario López, (5:41:41). OK, so either he was cocky and didn’t train at all and is in good enough shape to just go for it, OR he stopped along the way to do situps.

Freddie Prinze, Jr., (5:50:49). See above.

David Lee Roth, (6:04:43). He probably stopped at a bar along the way and had a smoke.

John Edwards (3:30:18). Let’s be honest. He has a lot to run from. That’s the only explanation for that time. And, it’s probably a lie.

Al Gore, (4:58:25). This is more like it.

This list is outdated because I know that Edward Norton ran a marathon last year, but here’s the list I looked at for Oprah’s time.

TGIF!

The Proclaimers wrote a sweet song about walking 500 miles and then 500 more “just to be the man who falls down at your door”.

Even The Proclaimers knew that 1,000 miles was their max.

I’ve already told you how I don’t have any grand resolutions for 2010, but I am trying to continue to challenge myself in different areas of my life. In 2009, I decided I was going to run a half marathon. I ended up running three over the course of the year, as well as one 10K.

A lot of people scoff when I talk about running. Most people hate running and get bored with. To be honest, sometimes I hate running too.

As I prepare for the upcoming Surf City Half Marathon, I’m finding myself extremely bored with it. I am lucky this time around in that I don’t need to train as diligently because I’ve been running consistently for almost two years.

But, I need running.

For me, exercising does two things for me. It keeps me fit, and it keeps me mentally healthy. I know immediately if I have missed more than 3 days of running. I just don’t feel right.

Sometimes, I am sadder. Sometimes, I am bitchier. Sometimes, I am more lethargic. I don’t sleep as well and I am not myself. Laef can also tell and will very politely say, “Sooooo….maybe you should go on a run.”

That’s code for: You’re being a huge bitch and I don’t know why you are sobbing over the fact that Tim Riggins is sleeping with his 30-year old neighbor and not you. GET OVER IT.

Lately I’ve been thinking that I need a new goal. I have been dangerously close to committing to a full marathon. Or buying a bike a trying a triathalon. Or joining a team that competes in something like the Hood to Coast.

And then the other day, I stumbled upon Operation Jack.

This is all I can say about that: The Fuck?

I had to read this web site about 500 times. And then 500 times more just to be the person who fell off of my chair.

Briefly: Sam Felsenfeld is running 60 (YES SIXTY. 6-0) marathons in 2010 to raise awareness for Autism. Essentially, Sam is running ONE MARATHON A WEEK to honor is son Jack.

Maybe I am the only one freaking out because after I run one half marathon, I need like at least a week off. Then, I slowly ease back into running 3 miles.

This fool is in wicked shape. He’s running around a 3:30 pace.

It’s insane. I am in awe of this, and it has completely helped me become re-inspired by running.

And, for all of the people who shy away from running or exercise, Sam wasn’t a world class athlete. He was an unhealthy, overweight college student. He started walking. Then he started jogging. Then he started running. And now he runs marathons.

Since I’m on this big, “I can do anything I want” kick, I thought this story was worth sharing.

I almost didn’t know what to do with myself last night.

No new Top Chef.

Perhaps it seems odd that I put so much stock in a TV show, but as you may know, I am married. I don’t go on dates, or hit the clubs with my friends or chat online with hot babes.

THANK. GOD.

A lot of people inquire about married life. Our married life is great. To be honest, it’s not much different than what our life has been like since we moved to LA together almost three years ago.

I don’t know why (or how) I remember this, but way back in the day, I read a quote from Heather Locklear regarding her marriage to Richie Sambora (OK, so they are not the best example as we all know how THAT turned out, but stick with me here). She said that him traveling a lot was the best thing for them.

Laef and I seem to go in many different directions, but we do spend quite a bit of time together. Which is why I value my alone time when he works late or travels.

I know the lady at the sushi restaurant I used to frequent when Laef was traveling thought I was some weird cat lady (somewhat true), who had a fake husband.

Surely, the patrons – in pairs of two or for or six – thought I was a lonely alcoholic drinking sake alone (somewhat true).

Going to sushi after sitting in traffic for 1.5 hours to read The Week, sip sake and watch baseball on a high-def TV is one of my hobbies.

I WANT to be left alone. I don’t want to talk to anyone. I want to enjoy being by myself. I love it.

Laef and I are about to embark on a whole new experience in our relationship. He will begin basketball season in two weeks, and, as he says, “his life will be over.”

Mentally, I am preparing myself for the fact I’ll get a lot of that alone time I claim to love so much. I like it in moderation. I think I’m about to have the opposite of moderation.

I’m preparing for the fact that I’ll be going to San Diego for Thanksgiving alone. That he might get two days at Christmas so we can visit my family. That he’ll be gone Wednesday-Sunday for many, many weekends from November-March.

Thankfully, I have my hobbies, which include running half marathons and planning a month’s worth of meals. I also like my shows, writing on my blog and just reading magazines at the beach.

(NO, this isn’t match.com. Shut the fuck up, I’m just telling you how I prevent myself from calling Laef 2385742832 times while he is gone.)

The thing about the half marathons is that I occupy myself with long runs on Saturday and Sunday, which leads to a long shower, stretching, making a yummy meal, napping and plotting how I can beat my personal best time.

It beats sitting around waiting for Laef to come home.

The thing about planning our monthly meals is that I can occupy myself by reading cook books, going to the grocery store, cooking, and generally just figuring out ways to incorporate new things into our repertoire.

It beats crying and wondering when my husband will show his face again.

And all of these hobbies give me things to blog about, which is yet another hobby that keeps me happy.

So, as we prepare for this new phase of complete chaos and conflicting schedules, I am happy that I’ve finally found a couple of things that I have proven I can stick with. Things that keep me sidetracked from the fact that I miss mah boo more than words.

Sometimes I am embarrassed for whining about work.

Or whining about anything for that matter.

Because the truth is, my life is pretty solid.

Laef and I went to San Diego to see friends this weekend. I ran the AFC Half Marathon with Natalie and Erin. Laef drank Scotch with Sean on Friday, they went tot he movies on Saturday while Erin and I watched reality TV to make ourselves fall asleep by 9 p.m.

We got to see Ben and Annett for lunch on Sunday.

It was so nice to see people that can make you forget about petty work bullshit and remind you that life is so much bigger than that.

I set a new personal best, finishing the race in 2 hours and 8 minutes. I forgot my iPod, which scared me. I was afraid that my mind would venture off into complete nonsense for 13 miles. The thought of listening to my own jacked up thoughts for 2 hours totally motivated me to run faster.

But, I never really thought about anything except for the race. I was focusing on my pace, how I was feeling, how I knew I could push myself a little bit harder. By mile 10, I knew I could beat my time, and focused solely on ignoring my shins.

Now that I’m back to work, I realize that if I can just take each day as though it were the 11th mile – on a steep hill – and push through without letting my mind go down a dark path, I will be able to press on.

It only took 13 miles, five friends and two fish tacos to realize how good I actually have it.

But, I hate that fucking song.

If you don’t know what song I’m talking about, let me ruin your day. I promise you will now sing it all day.

Which can be kind of funny when you sing it to random things that you do actually love. I love potstickers. I love oyster shooters. Chug. Chug. Chug.

So, anyway, that is the crap that has been consuming my brain.

I finished my second half marathon last week, and have to say that considering how much harder the course was than the first one I did, I am pretty proud to say I did it.

The Lara-Shaner-Ross team all survived despite being made fun of by some 17-year-old skank. Apparently she thought it was sooooooooooo lame that we matched. Yeah, I saw her at mile 10. And, for sure I fucking kicked it up one gear to make sure I finished before her.

Ho.

By the way, no offense to any moms of wonderful daughters out there, but I am not a fan of the 16-18 year old female demographic. I am sure Laef completely disagrees with me on this, but when I see a trick talking ON her cell phone WHILE running a half marathon, I am two heart beats away from a heart attack.

I will admit that when I saw three dolphins frolicking on one part of the race, I did sort of wish I had my cell phone to take pictures. Thankfully, the 34-year-old in me knows that under no circumstances can you bring a cell phone with you on a 13-mile run.

So, now that the La Jolla half is done, I’m looking forward to doing more races. It’s kind of like heroin.

Addicting.

The feeling you get before (nervous) during (thisfuckingsucks) and after (AMAZING) is unmatched. I love it. Now it’s time to try and build up some leg muscles so that my twigs might possibly be able to finish a race in under two hours. That is my next goal.

I am now also looking forward to the wedding. Hello, it’s May. Which brings MANY exciting wedding-related items: Bachelorette Party, Bachelor Party and cake tasting.

Let’s hope we make it through this month in one piece.

Today is one of those days that I’m very thankful to have a desk job. Walking around is not high on things I am currently looking forward to doing.

After much anxiety and curiosity as to how I’d fare in the Surf City Half Marathon, the results are in.

My overall time was 2:09:31 (sorry to those I lied to on Facebook when I claimed I finished at 2:08:00. That was according to my Nike Plus and it was slightly off). I finished 4,375th out of 10,743 runners; 1,946th out of 6,513 women runners and 344th out of 1,005 in my age group.

I truly had no idea what to expect. Some days I would go out for a run and feel like crap. Sometimes, you just don’t have it in you. All I was hoping for was to feel good as I started the race.

I can’t describe the feeling of being around so many people who are all trying to do something big for themselves. The support of everyone is overwhelming. There were “fans” lining every part of the streets throughout the race. There were signs and cheering and bells and bananas and whistles. There were people with prosthetic legs, people in wheelchairs, old people and young people. It was amazing.

The first six miles of the race seemed to fly by. The miles seemed to trickle off, one by one, and before I knew it, I was at mile 7 and feeling amazing. I saw so many things that would remind me of a friend or someone else, and that would lead to me drifting off in thought and killing like five minutes. Below are some of the things that kept me occupied. (I’m leaving a lot of thoughts about different people out so as to not completely bore you with what went through my mind for 2+ hours).

1. The very first song that came on my Ipod was OPP. For reasons I can’t really explain, that made me think of Whitney for the first five minutes of the race!

2. At some point I saw a spectator wearing a Dartmouth sweatshirt. That made me think of Rob and how far he has come in terms of fashion. Essentially, I trailed off to my college days of working at the Emerald and remembered how lazy, poor and unhealthy I was in college.

3. Early on, I saw a group of women all wearing the same pink and black tank tops. On the back it said: Mommies in Motion: Mom’s For Fitness. That made me think of Brittany, Lamb and AJ (I don’t know why, but I equated mommy runners to mommy bloggers) and how it would be so fun to run a race in Michigan (although, nofuckingway would it be in February) and how they could bring all their kids and they could make cute glitter signs for me. And then I thought how weird I am for actually considering these people friends, so much to the point that I would consider a trip to Michigan.

4. At one point, there was an older woman who was standing on a chair with these clackity clack noise maker things. Now, she wasn’t yelling, “KEEP MOVING” as my most favorite Oregon women’s basketball fan used to do, but it was close enough, which made me think of Chris Hansen. Which then made me think of Belle Hansen and how I don’t understand what happened to the last 7 years of my life. The fact that Belle is 7 makes me realize that Chris and I go WAY back.

5. I was quite pleased with my attire. Nothing was irritating me or rubbing in such a way that gave me discomfort or required me to stop for some vaseline. That made me think of Jane and how I was basically wearing mostly stuff I had been given by her for Christmas. Which made me think of Christmas and how I used the treadmill in the garage one day because I was so determined to stick with the training. That just made me realize how I happy I was that race day was here. All of the training was finally paying off.

6. I saw a few women wearing Carlsbad Marathon shirts from the half marathon that Erin and Natalie ran last weekend. That got me to spend about 10 minutes trying to think of a team name and corresponding shirt that Erin, Natalie and I could use for when we run the LaJolla half marathon in April. Suggestions please.

7. I thought of Angie Sit about 400 times. She made me this on my Facebook page:

First of all, do you know how hard it is to use Facebook graffiti? But, that’s Ang for you. Always so crafty. So supportive. Such a good friend. I was thinking of trying to find a half marathon to do with her. I mean, she does full marathons, but maybe she could humor me.

Everything felt great for the first 9-10 miles. After that, the miles seemed to take at least an hour. I had asked Laef to try and be around the 10 mile marker because I might need him. But, we decided against it because he’d then be 3 miles from the finish line and I’d rather see him then. I don’t know if it was fate or what, but just after I crossed the 10-mile marker, Jack Johnson’s “Better Together” came on the Ipod. That’s kind of our song and it definitely made me feel a little better.

From mile 11-12 I was starting to fade. I kept telling myself that I could run 2 miles in my sleep. And, although I was still running about a 9:50 pace, the 12th mile seemed to take at least 20 minutes. When I hit mile 12, I had to talk myself up a lot. I wanted to push myself to finish on a high note, but my legs were just not feeling it. And, then, with about .7 miles to go, I saw Laef. I got a burst of energy, smiled and waved and got very emotional. He took the following photo and later told me that I had bad form. It’s true. As you can see by my hunched over look, I had the form of having just run 12.5 miles and desperately wanting to get that last .5 over with.

And, I did it. I finished the last .5 without stopping or collapsing. It is one of my greatest accomplishments to date. I know it’s not a full marathon, but it’s fucking hard. More importantly, it’s the first hobby that I’ve ever started and finished. It’s the first time that I really wanted to quit something and didn’t.

Here are some of the after shots:

First thing I did was get my phone from Laef and text my peeps. I was excited!

Then I got a beer. Laef wasn’t allowed in the beer garden, so eventually I handed him my beer over the fence and we walked back to the finish line to meet my sister.

Well, the half marathon is two weeks away. I am supposed to do an 11-mile run this weekend and then next week is very light leading up to the race.

The training has gone well and I’ve stuck with it the whole way. It was tough in the beginning as I had severe leg cramps, my calves were tight and my knees were sore all the time. Thankfully, Laef seems to know a thing or two about aiding runners, so he was a big help.

I am one of those people who gets sidetracked very easily. Part of the reason for doing the half marathon was to have a hobby, have a goal, and follow through. It was my way of proving to myself that I could finish something I started. And, I’m ready for the race to be here. I have been training for three months. Finding the time to run 11 miles on a Saturday (which will probably take almost 2 hours) or 6 miles on a Thursday after a long day of work or 8 miles on a weekend when I’m visiting my family, has required a lot of discipline.

But, I’ve done it and I’m on the home stretch. And suddenly I am feeling very nervous. I find myself thinking about it in the middle of the night. My concerns are mainly that I won’t be able to finish because of pain in my knee or some other ailment that I don’t even know about. I’ve worked really hard to do it and I just want to be able to finish it. Even if it takes 3 hours.

I should probably start taking the same approach with books. I will start a book that I absolutely love and then I will see another book in the store and buy it. Or I will get a gift and begin reading that book. So, ultimately, I have three unfinished books, two unfinished magazines and one basket of un-put away laundry on a daily basis.

I remember when I was a sophomore in high school and we were assigned to read Lord of the Flies in English class. There was something about the book (I’m kinda dark like that) that sucked me in. I read it. All of it. And loved it.

When we took the quiz, I got every single question correct, forcing my English teacher, Mrs. Urbani, to pull me into her office after school. It was like Slumdog Millionaire shit. She wanted to know who gave me an advanced copy of the test and how I knew all the answers. So, I basically recounted my life story and told her how my dad had some stupid shell in our house and that he always told us you could hear the ocean if you put it up to your ear and how I wouldn’t let my brother try it until he gave me all of his fruit roll ups, but in the end, good prevailed and I got six cavities and was almost killed by tripping on a soccer cleat while chasing my brother in attempt to torture him in some inhumane sisterly way.

To this day I am not over the fact that to this day I don’t think she believes that I simply read the book and knew the answers.

She’s not invited to the wedding.

Anywasted, the point is, at least with the marathon, there won’t be cheating. Unless I can somehow convince Laef to pull some Central Washington softball shit and carry me for a mile or two.

It should come as no surprise to anyone that I found my wedding dress at the very first store I went to.

To be fair, it wasn’t the first one I tried on, so I’m kind of proud. I’m not much of an errands person and so when I tried on one that lead to me posing and spinning and smiling for 10 straight minutes, I figured that was the one.

I definitely went over the $300 budget set by Laef. (Thank you mom for making up the difference!). But, as the woman at the shop explained, “the white dresses need more material and lining so that they are not see through.”

And, although I run an adult blog site, I don’t want my wedding XXX.

The only small drawback to the experience was the 16-year old girl who came in with her dad, mom, aunt, uncle, brother, friend and a few other entourage members to pick out a dress for some sort of high school dance. Nothing like having your dad and Uncle Bob roaming around the bridal salon. And, by the way, who gets a $400 dress for prom? My shit went to Jessica McClintock when they had the 90-percent off sale. Anyway, I sort of felt like I was in the middle of an MTV show.

To celebrate the purchase – which has been torture because all I want to do is put it on again and look at it, but will have to wait at least four months to do again – Annett and I went to lunch in Manhattan Beach and pretended we were rich.

On Saturday night, Laef and I went to see Slumbdog Millionaire. Loved it. Very creative concept and interesting characters. We spent the rest of the evening watching scary movies and staying up way too late.

We had grand plans for today, but my first order of business was a 9-mile run. That is by far the longest I’ve done yet, and let’s just say, I spent most of the day napping and resting my legs. Oh, and gorging on insane amounts of Pinkberry, M&Ms, pizza and whatever else was around.

So, now we are about to figure out if we watch 24 live or the Golden Globes. I’m trying to find a wedding hairstyle, so I feel that it is necessary to watch and take notes. Laef does not. I am pretty sure after the reality binge last week, I will lose this battle.

Speaking of my shows. Dear Grey’s Anatomy: I can’t handle the Denny thing.

Holler Friday, Bitches!

I’m totally going to steal a recent blog format from my girl Brittany and do a little list. Lately, I’ve been neglecting the blog because there seems to be too much going on with the holidays. For example, the other day I was IMing and texting five different people at one time to discuss New Year’s Eve plans, while also shopping online for my future family-in-law, while simultaneously helping stressed out grad students print their 800-page theses two minutes before they had to present them.

I’m sure during the winter break I will acquire lots of great ideas, and, as Ben suggested, maybe even live-blog with him on New Years Eve (assuming I don’t pass out at 8:30 p.m.).

The list is perfect because there have been things on my mind to blog about, but none of them inspire me enough to dedicate an entire post.

1. I have grown accustomed to LA traffic. I finally decided that if it’s sunny in November, I will no longer complain about how long it takes to get to and from work. HOWEVER, this particular phenomenon has overcome me lately. See, I prefer to leave a car length (OK, maybe half a car length) between myself and whatever Lexus SUV with eight Obama stickers is in front of me. Apparently, this is code for BMW SUV to think, “Hey! Room for me! I’m squeezing in!” NO, you fuckbag! There is not room for you. I’m slowly starting to come to grips with the fact that, in LA, there is never space between you and any cars and people will actually speed up to NOT let you in and by the time you get home, you are ready to kill a kitten (not Sanch, but maybe someone else’s).

2. Top Chef. Is anyone watching this? To me, it’s a little down this year. Maybe it will pick up, but I’m not feeling that the talent is as high as it used to be. There are only a couple of chefs that seem like they know what they’re doing. Then there’s this guy, who thinks he’s good, but is always so flustered and worried about hair. Plus, he works at the Dilido Beach Club. Dude. I don’t care what you say, you work at the Dildo Club. Period. Of course, I’m a sucker and like Fabio. I might have to fight Padma though, because she’s always giggling around him like a school girl.

3. I won’t even start on Laurie’s lips on Real Housewives of Orange County or how Vicki is a complete whack job because I’m pretty sure all of two readers of this blog watch that show.

4. After a demoralizing 68 age score on the Wii, I recently scored a 24. That’s more like it.

5. Half-marathon training is kicking ass. I can’t believe I’m actually doing it. My sister got me new running shoes and I swear Nike has steroids running through its laces. Or they were just a nice upgrade from the pair that I had been wearing for four years and made my knees feel 80. I did my longest run of the training – a five-miler that took me through Manhattan Beach, Hermosa Beach and into Redondo Beach. I felt kinda cool. Until mile five. When I could no longer feel my legs. Alas, Dave Matthews pulled me through. Heart!

TGIF!!

UPDATE: I can’t believe I forgot to mention the totally fucking annoying Denny/Izzy bullshit on Grey’s. I can not wrap my head around this, nor do I want to. Ick. Dumb. Hates it. And, I also hated the wind/vent/kiss thing.

First of all, I am barely able to walk or sit today. I have incorporated weight training with my running regime. It’s a good sore. The kind where you KNOW you worked out. As opposed to the kind where you went into the gym, did four lunges, three sit ups and hit the treadmill for seven minutes before calling it a night.

So things are going well despite the fact that Laef came home from the grocery store last night with the following items:

The list he was sent with consisted of eggs, apples, oranges and cilantro. We have been really good about seeking out sales items, so he felt the purchases were somewhat justified.

Me: “You are so worse than me!”
Laef: “What? The Cheez-Its were on sale! And, we use those for lunches.”
Me: “What about the brownies?
Laef: “Well, they were only 60 cents off, but still…they were ON SALE!”
Me: “What else did you get? Did you remember the cilantro?”
Laef: “No, I forgot, but I got us each one of these Reeses candy bars. They were only a dollar each and look how big they are!”
Me: “You know I’m not going to eat that. Well, I’m going to try not to. You’re making this whole training/eating healthy thing hard.”
Laef: “Well, I figured you wouldn’t eat one, but maybe ONE square.”
Me: “So you bought yourself two Reeses candy bars?”
Laef: HUGE boyish grin.

At least he understands how hard it is to go to the store and stick with the list.