Tales from La La Land

Laef hates it when I watch 16 and Pregnant on MTV.

Now that I think about it, he actually hates when I watch anything on MTV.

He thinks that by me watching, and thus giving it ratings, I am somehow encouraging other 16-year-olds to get pregnant.

I guess he has a point.

Because what 16-year-old doesn’t want to be on MTV?

Anyway, it should be noted that because of Laef’s strong objection (as opposed to his mild objection of Real World), I don’t actually watch this show with any regularity. However, I noticed that the reunion/catch up show was on the other day so I watched.

Dr. Drew totally tries to justify all of it by raising awareness. He mentions things like “protection” and “adoption”.

Shit that would have gone right over my head when I was 16.

But, now that I’m 35 and have stopped taking my birth control pills, his words actually resonated with me.

I stopped taking birth control pills because we are beginning to have the “baby” talk. But we don’t want said baby to grace us with it’s presence for at least a year, if not longer. And we don’t even want to think about said baby for at least 6 months.

My solution was quite simple and it had something to do with being born-again virgin.

Laef did not like this idea at all.

And then reality set in: We can’t just hope.

On Friday, after a little dinner date night, we went to target for Tampons (WHEW), condoms and cat food.

We were totally trying to act all cool and grown up, but we were acting totally dorky and sketchy while perusing the different brands, and I SWEAR like 22 people came on that aisle while we there.

After Laef (in his LOUDEST voice ever) made sure I knew that “Target doesn’t carry XXXXL so I guess these XXL will have to do”, we headed towards the checkout counter.

At that point, I noticed a familiar dude in the line – some guy that works with Laef at UCLA. I made some excuse that I wanted to go look at greeting cards and bailed before Laef ever knew what happened.

I left Laef at the check out counter with Tampons, Condoms and Cat Food. I know, I am totally mature like a 16-year old chick.

After feeling somewhat guilty, I made my way back to the checkout counter where Laef’s coworker was still standing, chatting about “our exciting Friday at Target”.

Whatever, dick.

We got condoms.

And we giggled like super mature teenagers the whole way home.