Today didn’t start off with the same excitement as yesterday. For starters, we were almost out of exciting prizes and there wasn’t quite enough sleep last night. I tossed and turned all night waiting for Harper to wake up in a puddle of pee screaming. She never did scream, and she also never wet the bed. But, at 6 a.m. I panicked and went in to take her to the bathroom. She was half asleep on the toilet, but as soon as she went to the bathroom, she was wide awake, “I need a sticker.”
Oh shit, is what I thought. I desperately tried to get her back into her bed, but my efforts were futile.
So up we got, and it wasn’t much longer until Reagan was up because of all the commotion. It was apparent from the minute we all got up that no one wanted to embark on this adventure for the second straight day. I should have known things weren’t starting right when the first prize I offered her was an accessory for her kitchen and she looked at it, frowned and said, “I no want it.” It was as if she was 7 and I got her clothes for Christmas. Like, ew, where’s my roller skates?
Things steadily went down from there. Harper wanted milk in her “pink cup.” The pink cup was dirty so I got the green cup. She proceeded to flop and flail on the kitchen floor like a crazy hyena while I blocked it out so that I could make some coffee to enable myself to even begin to understand what was happening.
In between washing the pink cup and trying to get coffee made, I remembered that I am supposed to be showering her with love and praise and reminding her to tell me if she has to got potty. At that point I realized that potty training sucks.
My next mistake was making oatmeal improperly. Apparently the orange bowl is a piece of shit and she only eats oatmeal out of the blue bowl. At this point I realized that potty training sucks, and there was no way we could do it if she was going to be tired and cranky all day.
At 9:45 a.m. she had her third epic meltdown of the day because daddy gave her the wrong band aid for her invisible injury. This meltdown led to her peeing on the floor, and finally agreeing that she needed to go back in her bed and rest.
After we all regrouped, the day began for real at about 11:30 a.m. And from this moment on she told us when she had to go potty and there were almost no false alarms. When it was clear that she had to go poop, she struggled a little with how to handle it. She kept going into the bathroom, but she was petrified to do it. So she’d say, “All done” as soon as she sat toilet. So we followed her around the house pretending to want to play, but really checking to see if she was “crowning’ (Laef’s words, and another moment where I was almost the one who peed on the floor). Eventually – despite her best efforts – she had to go bad enough that she went on the toilet. When she was done she said, “Bye bye stinky poo poo!”
I might have teared up. I know it’s just a poop going down the drain, but with it went my little baby. At the end of the day today, Harper seemed so much older to me. She’s one of us – a non-diaper wearing, human grown up.
We didn’t have many false alarms today, but what we had was an extended bed time. While reading books and singing songs Harper said she had to go potty at least 5 times. Finally we decided to risk it and told her no, and to go to bed. I made Laef and I a yummy dinner to celebrate being 2/3 of the way done, and the fact that today was a big, big success. As soon as we took a bite, we heard noises coming from Harper’s room. We got up to see what was going on, and low and behold it was Cinderella poking her feet out:
“I have to got potty with Cinderella.”
We decided to put her on the toilet and told her that we were going to eat, and when Cinderella was one peeing to come say good night. Two minutes later we heard her tinkling away in the toilet, so we walked away from the steak and salmon, put on our happy faces and ran to the bathroom to do dance a jig. Harper said, “I went potty. I flush, I wipe. I’m a big girl.”
Oh my God, it’s working and she is so excited, and we’ve got one day to go. I just hope we didn’t use all of our good tricks today. We decorated cookies:
And spent hours playing with balloons: