Tales from La La Land

Today I’m spending the day over at Aiming Low writing about how we don’t have our marriage license yet even though it was supposed to be a fool-proof process. Long story short, we’re going to need to make another trip to the LA courthouse and I think I’d rather spend the day at the OBGYN.

Seriously.

So, we will add “going to the courthouse” to our insanely long list of shit to do.

I don’t know what is going on lately, but I am struggling to keep my head above water. I have written about this in the past – how it feels like we always have things to do, places to go, lunches to make, laundry to fold.

Nothing has changed except that I’m just pretty much exhausted all the time right now. I am having an exceptionally hard time making myself get out of bed for work. There’s a lane closed on the 405 right now and it has made the commute that much more sucky.

I am so tired of getting home at 7 p.m. when I clock out at 5:30 p.m. It is starting to depress and wear me down.

The truth of the matter is that, I want to be home. I wish I could be a stay at home wife. Not because I don’t have professional dreams and aspirations, but because I’m passionate about our home, our lives, our well being and our quality of life.

I wish I could come home from work and tell myself that the world really won’t end if I don’t make something for dinner. Or that if Laef doesn’t do the dishes, nothing bad will happen.

But, I am anal about taking care of us. I can’t have the house be messy. I can’t have laundry sitting out. And, I REALLY can’t have dishes everywhere.

So I put this pressure on myself to grind through all of the things that need to be done AFTER a long day of work.

It’s exhausting.

I really need to aim a LOT lower and just chill the fuck out.

What they say is true.

Right after you get married, the “are you pregnant yet?” questions start pouring in.

I wrote about how we’re not quite trying just yet over at Aiming Low today.

But, we are at least talking about it. We talk about names, where we want to go on family vacations and how many we’ll have.

We visualize the little peep in a Cardinal onesie (OK, Laef visualizes that).

We wonder, will the peep be athletic? No. Will the peep be tall? Probably. Will the peep be a twig? Probably. Will the peep like to sleep during the night? HOPEFULLY.

It’s all a big ball of uncertainty.

And, I can’t believe we’re even talking about this.

No, seriously. I have like one second to get this post up.

In the city that never sleeps absolutely nothing is free, but at Starbucks you can get two free hours of wireless per day if you buy a Starbucks card.

The wedding was more spectacular than I could have ever imagined it would be. But, I’m leaving the recap to my good friend Ben because I am not going to spend my honeymoon on the computer!

I’m just here to tell everyone that there’s a new site in town. I’m writing over at Aiming Low and couldn’t be more out of my league if I tried. These bitches are mothers and writers with like 4,000 twitter followers and an average of 50 comments per blog post.

So, to all my peeps: Check it out. Bookmark it. Make comments. I am super excited to be expanding my writing in a different space and hope you enjoy the other writers too.

So, I am in the land of dial up internet and sparce cell phone service and asked my friend Brittany to blog for me. We became internet BFFs, and since both my family and fiancee are obsessed with her, to me it was pretty much the same as Angelina Jolie guest posting. They both have 80 kids or whatever.

Anyway, if you are not reading Brittany’s blog, you’re whack. I really did email her after reading her for the first time because she does funny and funky like no other. If I wasn’t getting married this year, I’d like to think we’d be BlogHer roomies, although, I’m totally a freshamn to her senior and I’m sure she’d diss the shit out of me…Anywyay, here’s her guest post.

Heart.

I have known Allison for pretty much my whole life. We met in grade school, but I totally hated her because she had the same exact Hello Kitty trapper keeper as me, only mine was way better since it was full of the sweetest Lisa Frank unicorn folders ever made, but still, she tried to steal my thunder, and everyone knows I am a whore when it comes to attention. But, somewhere around Junior High, she totally saved my ass when I started my period on on the risers during Choir practice when I was wearing my fave white Guess Mini skirt. We’ve pretty much been best friends ever since.

Completely made that up.

Not the period part, that totally happened. Took a lot of bleach to save that mini.

Anyways.

I met Allison online. I hate saying that out loud because it makes me feel like we met on Match.com.

Which we totally didn’t. But, if I was a lesbian, I would totally check out her profile, because not only is she super hot, but she loves the movie The Secretary, and quotes Clueless.

Which pretty much puts her up there with such heroes as Mary Magdalene (the saint version, not the dirty hooker one), Rosa Parks, and that surfer girl who had her entire arm bitten off by a shark, but then totally still surfed after that, even though she only had one arm left, and nothing but, like, a shoulder hump left on the other side.

Craziness.

Moving on. This post is supposed to be about Allison and her sweet ass blog, which turned one on the 11th. My big plan was to go back to the very beginning of her blog, but, it turns out, not only does her blog contain a bajillion pictures of nieces and nephews but none of me, it also doesn’t have an archive menu. And, I am too pregnant to sit here and hit the older posts link 94957867 times.

Even though being pregnant has nothing to do with how lazy I am.

Although, it kinda does, because I am sitting here trying to eat my leftover lomein and a baggie of Corn Pops, and I am a right handed eater, but it turns out I am also a right handed mouse clicker. So, it’s a no go on the blog memory lane.

Either way, I totally remember the day I got an email from a young Allison. Of course, she was all, you’re a genius, your writing is brilliant, I want wear your skin as a dress…which is pretty typical for me. A day in the life, if you will.

But, it was different with Allison, and with time, her innocent blog about life in LA turned into the balls. She was cursing, and drunk, and having conversations with the Sanch, and calling bitches out, and a total skank in the bedroom (unless her mother in law is reading this, in which case, I know for a fact her and Laef are waiting until after the wedding, just like Jesus says.)

She was totally me in a non-knocked up, exercising, 3 hour time difference kind of way.

And, that’s why you should all be reading her blog, and telling your friends to do the same. She is relatable and honest. Which is a hard find these days, with the overcrowding of lame ass copy cat blogs. I am praying for the day Dooce gets off my nuts and starts posting some original material.

Plus, I have a feeling this next year is going to bring some great post material, with some ultra fab nuptials in the near future.

If only I could talk them into moving back west to the motherland. So she can start popping out 3 foot tall Laef babies, and I would finally have someone to watch People’s Court and eat Hot Pockets with during the day.