Monday, 29. December 2008
So, I am in the land of dial up internet and sparce cell phone service and asked my friend Brittany to blog for me. We became internet BFFs, and since both my family and fiancee are obsessed with her, to me it was pretty much the same as Angelina Jolie guest posting. They both have 80 kids or whatever.
Anyway, if you are not reading Brittany’s blog, you’re whack. I really did email her after reading her for the first time because she does funny and funky like no other. If I wasn’t getting married this year, I’d like to think we’d be BlogHer roomies, although, I’m totally a freshamn to her senior and I’m sure she’d diss the shit out of me…Anywyay, here’s her guest post.
I have known Allison for pretty much my whole life. We met in grade school, but I totally hated her because she had the same exact Hello Kitty trapper keeper as me, only mine was way better since it was full of the sweetest Lisa Frank unicorn folders ever made, but still, she tried to steal my thunder, and everyone knows I am a whore when it comes to attention. But, somewhere around Junior High, she totally saved my ass when I started my period on on the risers during Choir practice when I was wearing my fave white Guess Mini skirt. We’ve pretty much been best friends ever since.
Completely made that up.
Not the period part, that totally happened. Took a lot of bleach to save that mini.
I met Allison online. I hate saying that out loud because it makes me feel like we met on Match.com.
Which we totally didn’t. But, if I was a lesbian, I would totally check out her profile, because not only is she super hot, but she loves the movie The Secretary, and quotes Clueless.
Which pretty much puts her up there with such heroes as Mary Magdalene (the saint version, not the dirty hooker one), Rosa Parks, and that surfer girl who had her entire arm bitten off by a shark, but then totally still surfed after that, even though she only had one arm left, and nothing but, like, a shoulder hump left on the other side.
Moving on. This post is supposed to be about Allison and her sweet ass blog, which turned one on the 11th. My big plan was to go back to the very beginning of her blog, but, it turns out, not only does her blog contain a bajillion pictures of nieces and nephews but none of me, it also doesn’t have an archive menu. And, I am too pregnant to sit here and hit the older posts link 94957867 times.
Even though being pregnant has nothing to do with how lazy I am.
Although, it kinda does, because I am sitting here trying to eat my leftover lomein and a baggie of Corn Pops, and I am a right handed eater, but it turns out I am also a right handed mouse clicker. So, it’s a no go on the blog memory lane.
Either way, I totally remember the day I got an email from a young Allison. Of course, she was all, you’re a genius, your writing is brilliant, I want wear your skin as a dress…which is pretty typical for me. A day in the life, if you will.
But, it was different with Allison, and with time, her innocent blog about life in LA turned into the balls. She was cursing, and drunk, and having conversations with the Sanch, and calling bitches out, and a total skank in the bedroom (unless her mother in law is reading this, in which case, I know for a fact her and Laef are waiting until after the wedding, just like Jesus says.)
She was totally me in a non-knocked up, exercising, 3 hour time difference kind of way.
And, that’s why you should all be reading her blog, and telling your friends to do the same. She is relatable and honest. Which is a hard find these days, with the overcrowding of lame ass copy cat blogs. I am praying for the day Dooce gets off my nuts and starts posting some original material.
Plus, I have a feeling this next year is going to bring some great post material, with some ultra fab nuptials in the near future.
If only I could talk them into moving back west to the motherland. So she can start popping out 3 foot tall Laef babies, and I would finally have someone to watch People’s Court and eat Hot Pockets with during the day.