Tales from La La Land

Somehow my salt-womb pork won the last Culinary Throwdown so I am hosting the first Culinary Challenge of 2010.

Of all the ingredients, themes, techniques, food-related things I could have chosen, I picked leeks.

A million things went through my mind – scallops, artichokes, chocolate, lemon, garlic, coffee – things I LOVE.

But, they’re all things I know and have tried. I have been curious as to what a leek is and how you cook with it, so I picked leeks hoping to learn a thing or two. I am also curious about braising, poaching fish in olive oil and molecular gastronomy, but I wasn’t quite ready to complicate things. And, let’s be honest, I don’t own a dry ice machine.

My mom sent me a recipe the same day I posted that leeks were the theme, so I decided to use it. I have mostly heard of leeks being used to make soup, so that’s what I was going to do, but the following recipe sounded simple and yummy.

The recipe is from Food and Wine Magazine.

Luckily for me, there were very few ingredients. That was nice considering I was still trying to recover from NYE and the Rose Bowl.

You will notice that The Sanch is NOWHERE to be found. That’s because he heard the word “Leeks” and was like, “Fuck that. Call me next time when there’s pork, beef, tuna or cheese”.

The leeks were full of dirt, so the first order of business was to thoroughly rinse them. I then sliced them as thin as I could and placed them in a deep skillet over moderate heat. By the way, why does the recipe say, “moderate” heat? Is moderate medium? Or is moderate low? Or is it medium-low? Is this a Swedish recipe?

For the second challenge in a row, my recipe used heavy cream. I figured if the leeks tasted like poo, the heavy cream would totally make up for it. So, I dumped cream on the leeks, added some spinach, salt and pepper. I mixed the creamy-leek sauce with the pasta and added some basil.

Voila!

Not the most exciting plate, but it really did taste good. The leeks were quite stringy and since Laef as never eaten a leek either he was examining everything and asked “Oooohhh…is this Parmesan cheese?”

How bad do you think I felt when I had to tell him it was a leek? He said he liked it, but he will eat pretty much anything. I could see making this again mainly because it was super, super easy and provided us leftovers. You really can’t go wrong with pasta mixed in cream.

Programming Note: Tomorrow is TheCulinary Throwdown! Make something yummy with Leeks and come by the blog and leave a comment that says, “I’m up.” Moi will be around later in the day to check out all the recipes. (Please don’t make me be the douche bag that has two fucking people participate. I don’t care if you have to eat a raw leek, do something.)

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As far as I can remember, I didn’t make any New Year’s resolutions in 2009.

If I did, I certainly can’t remember keeping any of them. There are things that I want to be better about (my abs, drinking less wine, eating less cheese, reading more books), but I can say that as 2009 came to a close my wine and cheese (AND CHOCOLATE) intake were doing abso-fucking-lutely NOTHING for my abs and the Julie and Julia book I started in October fell behind the bookshelf and was rescued only after I saw the movie and decided to finish it.

I am horrible at finishing things. I can get 112 pages into a book that I love, and then something just takes over me. I simply. Can. Not. Turn. Another. Page.

I can get 22 minutes into a decent movie, and then something takes over me. My. Eyes. Must. Close.

However, I did get married in 2009, which is a huge accomplishment for me. Marriage is pretty final. I’d venture to say that I’ve “finished” my dating days.

And, THANK GOD, for that.

Anyway, now that I’m settled into a very happy married life and have put the last 10 years behind me, I can’t help but want to do all sorts of things over the next 10 years.

I’m not talking about stupid shit like waking up an hour before work so that I can eat a proper breakfast and read the newspaper (I contemplated that as a 2010 resolution and promptly woke up 17 minutes before I had to leave for work yesterday, at which point I realized that new year’s resolutions are stupid and I need to think long-term to give myself ample time to succeed).

I’m talking about big picture: Career, Family, Home, Happiness and Health.

There’s no way I can fail. If I am still working at my current job in 10 1 year, then I don’t deserve happiness. Truth be told, I can hold on for another year or so because it pays the bills and gives us opportunities to live our life. Between the two of us, we have a roof over our head, food on the table, and the things we need.

I’m lucky to have a job with benefits. (Sometimes, it feels like a friend with benefits because I often feel fucked when I leave to get on the 405).

But, I want a career that I love. I’m determined not to be one of those people that wakes up at 50 only to realize I didn’t follow my dreams.

We’d like to start a family. We’d like to have a home to put said family. And we’d like everyone to be healthy.

So, here’s to pacing myself with my resolutions. I figure if I’m pregnant I can quit worrying about my abs.

Or, I’ll have at least 5 years to lose the baby weight.

Right now it’s hard to imagine cooking (or eating) anything.

Our Christmas Eve dinner consisted of a 15-lb prime rib covered in sea salt, horseradish, olive oil, garlic and pepper. Apparently, 1lb of meat per person wasn’t sufficient, so we also had a huge batch of my brother-in-laws homemade raviolis. And, of course, a bevy of side dishes ranging from oven-baked macaroni and cheese to spinach salad.

Here’s what a 15-lb piece of prime rib looks like prior to cooking.

For desert, we revisited the deliciousness that is the lemon pudding cakes.

Everything turned out really well despite the fact that there were multiple people trying to cook in the kitchen at once, and that every few minutes a three-year old would run by trying to grab everything in sight.

I started thinking about the Leek throwdown, which will take place on January 6, because the prime rib recipe called for parsnips. I had to google it before going to the store. I have never eaten a parsnip in my life. No one else seemed entirely sure what they were either. So, I was looking forward to cooking them with the roast and seeing what they tasted like.

They seem to have a pretty bland flavor on the own, so thankfully they were swimming in meat juice.

When I first told Laef that I got to pick the ingredient for the next throwdown, he said, “I know what you’re going to pick.”

And then he said: Garlic.

It is true. I love cooking with garlic. But, I wanted something I’ve never used.

I guess it’s only fitting that I chose leeks – a vegetable from the onion and garlic family.

Most of the recipes I have been wanting to try were some kind of soup, but after reading further, there are plenty of options for cooking with Leeks.

I hope you all will participate. Hopefully by January 6 you will be recovered from all the holiday food.

Once you have put your throwdown blog up, come over and leave a comment that says, “I’m up.” Moi will go around and visit all the sites and take care of the judging.

Maybe it’s the holiday spirit or Padma’s baby bump, but after a totally lackluster Top Chef season finale, I was kind of digging the reunion show.

I laughed quite a bit, so I don’t have a lot of negative things to say.

The way that they interacted on the reunion show and some of the clips that were put together only reinforced in my brain that the process is stressful. Unless you are Kevin, the chances of coming out looking completely sane, sweet and sincere are slim to none.

I will probably take a lot of flak for this, but I thought Isabella redeemed himself a little bit on the reunion show. He’s a jersey guy, which is a unique breed, but even Jen admitted that he was an OK guy. He could totally laugh at himself and seemed to take ownership of who he is. I can respect that.

Speaking of which…Um, could Bravo have been any more obvious when it panned to Jen and then to Isabella after Andy Cohen asked a viewer question about whether there were any on-set love affairs?

Rumor is that they had some kind of tryst, but seeing as Isabella was recently married, I’m sure we’ll never really know.

Other notes:

- I love Jen even more than I did before. She is one of the guys who likes to booze and cook. She is my pretend BFF.

- Ash is such a tool. I can’t pinpoint it, but something about him and his teabagging of the entire cast really annoys me.

- Bryan and Mike aren’t so bad. Bryan has zero charisma and Mike is quite confident, but bottom line is that their mom is good people and I would like to think that good moms raise good people.

- Ron. Andy said that people were sad when Ron was sent home. I don’t believe that. OK, he’s a cuddly teddy bear, but the dude was out of his league. Who was sad?

- Mattin. Thanks for playing, buddy. I got dry heaves again after having to look at your ceviche made in the desert.

- Padma. “I ate a lot of huevos…”

- Robin. At least you got air time. Can’t say the same for half the other people sitting there.

- Kevin. Best. Line. Ever. “It’s Fun To Be Smart.” He continued to be adorable. Even in his defense of Eli. So cute.

So, whatever, whatever. It is what it is. I had an OK time watching the reunion show. Felt like I could have gotten wasted with that crew and had a blast.

In other cooking related news!

I recently stumbled upon some cooking blogs that host a Culinary Throwdown. A couple of months ago, I got brave enough to tred into their turf and compete in the beet throwdown.

All of the bloggers that partake were very welcoming, friendly and encouraging so I went for it again a couple of weeks ago.

For each throwdown, there is a specific ingredient, style of cooking, method of cooking, etc., that must be featured. And usually, Moi will do the judging.

The winner of the challenge gets to host the next challenge and pick the theme or ingredient. Moi must have been drunk because she labeled my salt-womb pork the winner of the last challenge.

Sooo…I will be hosting the next Culinary Throwdown.

Yay.

Posts should be up on Wednesday, January 6. Don’t be shy! It’s a fun group and a fun challenge. Just put your post up and come on over to my blog and leave a comment saying, ‘I’m up.”

And now…for my choice of ingredient.

I’ll just say this: What I’ve loved about the throwdown’s is trying new things. I picked something that I have never, ever cooked with. I picked something that I always assumed I wouldn’t like, but never actually tried it.

I picked: LEEKS.

Once again the Culinary Throwdown has led me down a road I’ve not ventured before.

This is my second throwdown, and it brought me as much excitement and confusion as the beet challenge.

This time around, La Diva Cucina is hosting. She won the last throwdown, and thus, got to pick the theme: Salt.

Obviously, I use salt to cook. But, I’ve never once made dish centered around salt. Which is weird because Cup ‘O Noodles is pretty much my favorite thing to eat.

I contemplated making some noodle dish with salty broth, but when I started googling around, I learned that there are actual techniques one can use to cook with salt.

In the end, I settled on Salt-Roasted Pork Loin. This is not an original recipe. Because this isn’t something I was familiar with, I figured I’d need a guide.

I have to say, I was skeptical throughout the entire process – how is dumping an entire 3 pound box of salt all over the pork loin not going to make it taste like ass? How is it NOT going to seep in?

So, with all of my confusion…I went for it.

I prepared my ingridents with a little help from The Sanch.

It was so disappointing to learn that you should hide bits of pancetta within the meat to prevent from drying. I HATE delicious chunks of pork hidden within pork! NOT.

That was pretty much all it took. I sliced holes in the pork loin and stuffed pieces of pancetta that were mixed with sage, nutmeg and mustard. Again, I was confused. I didn’t put anything on the pork loin. But, I have to say, the sage gave a really nice flavor.

Once the pork was stuffed with more pork, I buried it in salt. This is when I started questioning everything and started to think we’d be ordering a pizza for dinner.

As it was baking, I made the spicy apple creamy slaw thing that goes with it. I was thrown off by the horseradish. I love horseradish, but I normally eat it with beef, so I was unsure how it would go with pork. Um, it was delicious. Maybe it was the 5 tablespoons of heavy cream.

Finally, it was time to check the damage.

It was amazing. The salt formed a cave, never actually soaking into the pork loin.

After cutting it out of its salt womb, I sliced the pork and served with the apple slaw. It was super moist and an amazing revolution.

Spicy Salt-Roasted Pork Loin
2 1/4 pounds (1 k) bonless pork loin
A 1/3-inch thick (1 cm) slice flat pancetta (see link to photo), cut into half-inch sticks
3-4 leaves fresh sage, chopped
A pinch of freshly ground nutmeg
A teaspoon ground mustard
A green apple, peeled, cored and grated
The juice of a lemon
5 tablespoons heavy cream
3 tablespoons grated horseradish
Pepper
6 1/2 pounds (about 3 k) coarse sea salt or kosher salt

Preheat your oven to 460 F (230 C).

Make as many cuts into the top of the meat as you have sticks of pancetta. Mix the sage, nutmeg, and mustard in a bowl, seasoning the mixture with a grind of pepper. Roll the pancetta sticks in the seasoning and stick the meat with them.

Line the bottom of a baking dish deep enough to comfortably hold the meat with a 3/4-inch (2 cm) layer of salt. Put the meat on it.

Cover the loin to an even depth of 3/4 inch (2 cm), using as much of the remaining salt as necessary.

Roast the pork loin for an hour and 15 minutes.

While it is roasting, squeeze the lemon, collecting the juice in a bowl. Peel and grate the apple, stirring the apple into the lemon juice immediately to keep it from discoloring. Stir in the grated horseradish too, and next lightly whip the cream. Fold it into the sauce too, cover the sauce with plastic wrap, and refrigerate it.

The salt crust will be browned, and may even look burnt because of the reaction between the heat and the juices drawn from the meat. Don’t worry, but rather crack it open, remove the pieces of crust, and brush away excess salt.

I recently came across some new blogs after getting some comments on my Top Chef recaps. The Troll Report offers some insightful commentary on the episodes and also hosts a Culinary Throwdown. He’s also a Gator fan, so by default he is in the same category as A. Sit. Which is a good category.

However, this particular Culinary Throwdown is being hosted by Bite The Apple.

From what I can tell (this is my first one), an ingredient or, in some cases, multiple ingredients are chosen and different bloggers whip up a meal based on that ingredient, take a few photos and post it online.

Bite The Apple will visit all the sites and judge the recipes.

I’m pretty sure I will not be the winner of my first-ever throwdown as the the star ingredient is the beet.

I have never eaten a beet in my life.

Which is why I was intrigued and kind of excited. I love food, I love cooking and I love trying all sorts of different things. I was like an 8-year old when it came to beets.

Hate them.

But, never tried them.

So, how do I really know?

And so I went online to figure out what the fuck a beet is and how you cook one. Because I’m a novice, I decided to roast them and stick with something very simple – a salad.

A staple in our house is an arugula salad with strawberries or apples, walnuts, some kind of crumbled cheese (feta, goat, blue) with a light olive oil dressing.

Because beets are supposed to be somewhat sweet, I figured I’d replace the fruit with the beets. They were very dense and reminded me of baby red potatoes. And they took equally as long to cook. I cook the baby reds the same way – drizzled with olive oil with salt and pepper, wrapped in foil in the oven.

I have to say, I really didn’t love the flavor.

However, the color of beets is nothing short of stunning.

Anyway, here’s what I prepared.

Roasted Beet and Arugula Salad with Feta Cheese and Walnuts

1 bunch beets, washed, trimmed, and quartered
Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper
6 oz. arugula, washed
1/4 cup walnut halves and pieces
feta cheese, crumbled
1 lemon, juiced
2 T olive oil

Trim the beets, cut into quarters. Place the beets on aluminum foil on a baking sheet. Drizzle with olive oil and season with salt and pepper. Fold foil to form a pouch and bake at 400 degrees for 45 minutes.

When the beets are done, let cool. Mix arugula, walnuts, feta cheese, lemon juice and olive oil in a bowl. Place mixture on a plate. Top with roasted beets.