Friday, 4. November 2011
So, right after Harper was born, I started noticing that I couldn’t hear very well out of my left ear. The problem proceeded to get worse, and after asking Laef to repeat himself 400 times over the course of the last month, he insisted I go to the doctor.
I don’t know exactly what I thought the problem was, but I certainly was not prepared for them to tell me that I have otosclerosis and will have to have surgery to replace a bone in my ear. This condition is apparently common in women late in pregnancy or during menopause.
So, yes, this is yet another thing that I will be blaming on Harper. I mean, it’s not enough that I pee while jogging, average 4 hours of sleep per night, have a beer gut (without the enjoyment of beer), and brush out giant amounts of hair each morning.
No, I also have to be practically deaf in one ear.
Now I am wondering what could be next.
All joking aside, it doesn’t matter all that much.
We just experienced our first holiday with Harper, and I have to say that it brought out the kid in both of us. We took her trick or treating (yes, she is only 4 months old and did not know what the hell was going on) Monday night, and our excitement level was quite high. We both realized that this might be the last year we can eat all of her candy without her throwing a giant fit.
When we started walking down the street and approached the first house, we stopped and looked at each other.
“What do we do? We just knock on the door, right?”
I mean, it has been like 25 years since I have been trick or treating (I just barfed typing that) and like 6 years since Laef has gone. We were rusty.
Most of the houses in our neighborhood had bowls with candy on the porch. I don’t know if it’s because people were out with their own kids, or if that’s how it’s done these days. That’s not how it was done back when I was a kid, which is a good thing because I didn’t exactly follow instructions, and a note that says, “TAKE ONE ONLY” wouldn’t have meant shit to me. Actually, yes, it would have meant, “TAKE AS MUCH AS YOU WANT AND RUN AWAY FAST!”
I tried really hard to only take once piece to put in Harper’s trick or treat bag, but it was not easy.
Laef: “Remember, you are trying to set an example for her.”
Me: “Bah. Fine. But we can take three pieces. One for me, one for you and one for her. That is totally legit.”
Laef: “Oooh. Get that flavored tootsie roll.”
I mean, no matter how old you are, a bowl full of candy is a hard thing to resist.
And no matter how deaf, tired or decrepit you feel, spending the holidays with your kids will make you feel like a child all over again.
While Harper passed out from her first Halloween experience, Laef and I dumped all her candy on the table and took turns picking what we wanted. It was like the fantasy draft of candy picking, and of course the last thing left was some janky candy corn.