Tales from La La Land

As I think about starting a new decade, I can’t help but think about all of the wonderful things that happened to me over the last 10 years. In short, I became an auntie four times over, I got married, I worked a wonderful job that allowed me to travel to Hawaii, Chicago, Miami and many places in between. I graduated from college.

I turned 30.

I lost some of my baggage.

And, I had a great group of friends who have been with me since the beginning of that decade.

That means, 10 years of memories. 10 years of good times and bad times. Many times of them holding my hand as I try to stagger home from Rennies. Many times of them wiping my tears while I cried over a broken relationship. Many times of tolerating my good sides and my bad sides.

Despite babies, weddings, moving, jobs and life’s general chaos, we have all remained in each others’ life.

So, it was the most perfect timing that the Oregon football team played in the Rose Bowl this year. A year that I happened to live in LA, and can actually afford to be a part of it. A year that doesn’t require me to buy a plane ticket anywhere, and where I can offer a small space in my tiny house for people who may not be able to come if hotel rooms were part of their travel expenses.

A year that allowed us to be together for the end of a decade that saw us through so many things together.

My last day of work was Friday, December 18. The very next night I was part of Lady Gaga’s little monster crew with my friend Annett in San Diego. I can’t think of a better way to start a two-week vacation than to scream every single Lady Gaga song while escaping from my reality for two hours. I dreamt of a life that was guided solely by my loves and inspirations. A life in which I could make a living doing things that I love.

Aside from inspiring me to sing Speechless at the top of my lungs for three days straight, she truly inspired me to think about what exactly it is that I love to do and trying to figure out a way to make that my reality.

I was still doing the little monster hand greeting as Laef and I headed up north to visit my family for Christmas. Thankfully, my nieces know what is up and actually enjoy dancing to Poker Face instead of whatever bullshit Miley Cyrus is putting out these days. (OK, I admit, I do secretly sing to Party in the U.S.A. if I hear it, but I can’t take her pole dancing and short black biker shorts).

After a few days with family, I headed back home to regroup and get ready for the Oregon peeps to arrive in LA for the Rose Bowl.

Even though our little house can barely handle Laef, Sanch and I, we had Chris and Alissa Hansen, my brother, and Amy Detwiler staying with us for a few days.

The Hansen’s were the first to arrive, coming in on Dec. 30. We took them downtown to Ercules in Manhattan Beach where we also met up with Michelle and Jeff Eberhart, Angie Sit and The McNamara’s.

For some reason Michelle kept saying that all she wanted was to be in the blog. But, I don’t know how to best explain to her that being in the blog usually means I make fun of you.

So this is what I will say about Michelle: She is the only grandma I know who wears knee-high boots with tassels. And, she is the craziest, most-fun 41-year 29-year old I know.

But, the line of the night goes to Chris Hansen.

I was talking about how I used to have a crush on this guy. And, it has recently been brought to my attention that said guy is “fat and bald”. I could barely contain my excitement over this new development when Chris said:

“So. He is fat? And bald? I am trying to figure out what is so wrong with that.”

We finished the night with some food and shots of Patron at Hennessey’s. It was a great way to start off the weekend.

The next day, New Year’s Eve, (OK, I need a minute. That seems like 4,980,343 brain cells ago) …

Ah, yes.

Chris, Alissa and I went to the UCLA men’s basketball to watch Laef in action. We tried to get him to do the “O” hand signal from the bench, but all we got was an eye roll. UCLA ended up holding on for a 2-point win over Arizona State so it was a good game to watch.

We raced back home to lay on the couch and watch The Hangover while re-energizing our already tired bodies. It’s amazing how two days of activities become much more difficult as life presses on.

Once Laef got home, the four of us headed to Sashi for our NYE dinner. It’s hard to put into words how amazing the meal was. The presentation of everything was so beautiful. The flavors were overwhelmingly good. Every bite seemed to have some larger purporse that left us baffled and wondering, “Exactly how does one come up with a Kobe Beef Cone thingy?” Or, “How do you make a red pepper ribbon?”

So, we not only ate, but we talked about food and took pictures and marveled at how decedent everything was.

Amy Detwiler and my brother arrived that night, and we decided to stay home so that we could be up early for the Rose Bowl. We sat around the table and played the dice game. That was until a car crashed into a utility pole near our house and the power went out.

What else to do but stand on the corner in sweatpants, with the neighbors, watching a car explode?

And, that my friends, is how we rang in 2010.

Seeing as the power was out, Laef and I were unable to inflate the air mattress that we were going to sleep on. So, we slept on a deflated air mattress with as many blankets as we could muster, and did not feel a day over 84 when we woke up.

It didn’t really matter because it was ROSE BOWL DAY!!!

I am not going to lie. I might have taken tailgating very seriously. I might have had one of the best days ever.

The game, as you might know, was a bummer. It wasn’t the Oregon offense we had seen for most of the year. It was frustrating to say the least.

I won’t say that it was a moral victory just being there. But, I will say, win or lose, I was taking in every bit of the experience in spite of fumbles, missed field goals and lack of possession time.

I met all sorts of people. The vibe was very pleasant. Duck fans seemed happy. OSU fans were very nice.

It was an amazing day.

It was the perfect end to a decade of memories with my peeps.

I suck at life.

That was a little dramatic.

I suck at the Q&As this year. I’m trying to be better, and it’s much easier when I have someone like Josh Frankel to work with.

When I went back to Eugene for the Cal game, I saw so many different people that would have been great for a Q&A. If I wasn’t 17 Coronas deep all weekend, I would have asked 10 different people a question and posted all the responses.

I did run into Josh Frankel, however, and we got caught up. We both recently got married and also have very fond memories of being at Oregon. I told him about the blog and how I do the Q&As and mentioned that Jared Siegel had done one.

His response was somewhere along the lines of, “Dude. I have had way more game winners than Jared. I need to be on the blog.”

He might not have said Dude, but it was something along those lines.

How fitting is it that I finally motivate to do another Q&A during SC week where Josh is a hero in his own right?

Seriously…from third-string walk-on to hero in 2 seconds. Against USC.

Love it.

1. Introduce yourself:

My name is Josh Frankel and I was a field goal kicker for the Ducks from 1996-2000. I finished my career in the University’s Top 10 in terms of career field goal percentage, and earned ALL-PAC 10 Honorable Mention as a junior. Most people remember me for that dramatic triple OT game-winning kick against USC in 1999. At the time, I was a third-string walk on kicker and figured to have as much to do with that game as anyone in the stands. By the end of the game, I was on my way to earning a scholarship and making my dreams of being a 1st-string PAC-10 kicker a reality.

Since college, I have worked for the EJ Gallo Winery, General Motors R*Works. I returned to Eugene for my MBA from 2004-2006. Currently, I work for Merrill Lynch in Portland helping a finite number of families with their financial planning. And best of all, I am a newlywed! I married Amy Swerdlin Frankel on May 9, 2009. No kids, but we have a dog, Rocky. I’m always open to communicating with fellow Ducks at joshdfrankel@gmail.com.

2. You seem to have a good track record in USC games. Can you explain what that feels like?

Every win in the PAC-10 is important. But, being from LA, as are many guys on the team, it’s always awesome to beat USC and UCLA. I don’t recall our overall record versus USC during my playing years, but I definitely remember 1999! Even ten years after that crazy triple OT game, I still enjoy going home to LA and chatting with high school buddies who attended USC. I also had the honor of being a game captain for the game at USC in 2000. It was truly special to be in front of my entire family and call the coin toss! Being on the field against USC and UCLA is incredible, but beating them is something else!

3. What are your thoughts on this week’s game and what Oregon needs to do to come away with a win?

I like our chances. We’re playing at a very high level right now and I think we present a lot of problems for USC. I’m hardly a coach, but here are my keys to success:

Defense: Eliminate the big play. Make USC earn its points. No 50+ yard plays. Be plus 2 on turnovers. No personal foul penalties.

Offense: Run the ball and be aggressive. Take time of the clock to make sure hte defense is well rested. Capitalize on turnovers. Limit penalties.

Special teams: Be Special! Win the field position game, kick 2-3 field goals and put kickoffs and punts into corners to limit big returns.

Autzen: Fans be loud!! Get in mind of the USC QB. He’s never heard anything like the magic of Autzen! The fans have a chance to win this game for the Ducks!

4. Do you make it back to Autzen for a lot of games? How is it different being in the stands than on the field.

Yes, I try to get back at least once or twice a season – and was in Seattle last weekend.

Being a fan is definitely much more fun! It’s obviously different being in the stands as you don’t have the same level of responsibility as those on the field. But it’s still a lot of work to be a Ducks fan. The players on the field rely on the people in the stands to be loud and relentless! It’s what makes playing at Autzen stadium the most intimidating stadium in NCAA. At this point in my life I truly enjoy being in the stands, but there was a time being on the field was the greatest thing in the world.

5. If my memory is correct, you had 3-game winning field goals while at Oregon. Can you describe the feeling from the time you know you will probably have to kick a game-deciding field goal until the time you’re off the field and in the locker room?

Good memory! Yes, had three game-winning kicks. But who’s counting….USC, Arizona and WSU. The best part of a game is you don’t know what’s going to happen. You don’t know if you’re going to win big, lose big, or be in an all-out war until the final whistle. That’s what makes sports so great and why people chew off their fingers when watching. It’s the ultimate reality TV.

In terms of the emotions and feelings that you experience leading up to a game winning kick – The three games that we won on a field goal, I remember feeling incredibly calm and 100% in the moment. I didn’t worry about making the kick or missing it – I just kicked the ball. Sounds simple in theory, but it’s about having confidence and faith in your teammates that everything is going to go according to plan. Even 10 years later, I can vividly feel and experience the moments leading to the kick, to the kick itself and being in the locker room after the kick. I can still hear the pop of the ball going off my foot. Every kick was a powerful and wonderful memory, but the game winning kicks will stay with me forever.

6. What do you remember most about playing in Autzen stadium?

The rules are different now, but I used to love when the fans rushed the field after every game. I loved signing autographs and giving kids my wristbands. Made the experience much more meaningful to share it with the fans.

7. Who were your funniest teammates?

I think most guys would say Eric Nicolaisen. He is truly hilarious. Keep your eyes open for him on various commercials…

8. Can you recall a funny on-the-field moment?

Kickers were always up to something funny (or odd) during games and at practice. We kept ourselves entertained at practice by playing practical jokes on each other. One of the jokes was to throw a football in the direction of a porta-potty whenever someone entered the restroom. One day a couple of us kickers saw Coach Bellotti enter the porta-potty. We told fellow kicker Dan Katz (who didn’t see Coach go in) that he could get revenge against another player who got him earlier. Dan started to slowly approach the pot and his left arm cocked and ready to fire. And all of a sudden Coach Bellotti walked out of the porta-potty. Dan had to quickly abort mission and when he turned around we were all on the ground laughing. Still brings a smile to my face to think of that.

9. What do you miss most about playing collegiate football?

Two things: First, the comradery was unbelievably special and I am who I am today in large part for being on the Oregon team. Second, there’s a line that says “football is life,” and I assure you that this is an astute observation! The life lessons learned from football are plentiful. For instance I learned something about all of the following: handling competition, overcoming obstacles, team work, hard work, persistence, dedication, patience, poise, ambition, managing others expectations, success, responsibility, community, reliability, consistency…the list could go on and on. To say the least, I learned a lot about life from being a collegiate football player and I use these lessons everyday.


10. What do you miss least?

The weight room squats! Sorry Coach Rad! I had three knee surgeries during school from squatting and I still pay the price from those. However, my 410 squat was 5th all time among kickers/QBs, good enough for the record book! So the surgeries were well worth it, but I don’t squat much anymore.

11. What were your thoughts after the Boise State game and how do you feel about how the team has rallied since then?

Like most Duck fans, I was embarrassed after the game. Not so much by the loss, but by the melee that followed. One of the most important elements of being a competitive athlete is self-control. You must practice self-discipline and keep emotions under control at all times. Good judgment and common sense are essential on and off the field. Unfortunately, in a moment of weakness that was captured on national television, the Ducks and the University were exposed – and negatively portrayed in the media.

However, I gained a lot of respect for Coach Kelly for his quick and decisive actions, and his ability to keep the team moving forward. And I thought keeping Blount on the team and letting him practice was a genuine sign that Kelly truly cared about Blount as a person. He knew Blount needed the team, even if the team didn’t need Blount. I am very proud of how the whole situation has been handled and I look forward to Blount’s return in a couple weeks. I am sure Blount is grateful for this second chance and let’s all hope that he makes the most of it.

The team as a whole also deserves a ton of respect for their poise since the Boise State game. All teams experience hardships, but great ones find ways to overcome the adversity. From what I have seen since Boise State, the Ducks are flying together and representing UO alumni with pride.


12. Will you be at the game on Saturday?

Unfortunately I won’t be at the game. Amy and I are going on our honeymoon this week. We’re off to Belize on Friday night!! But I’ll be thinking of the game and sending positive vibes from the beach in Belize!

13. Seriously. How good is Morgan Flint?
He’s Mr. reliable! I think he’s going to knock me out of #10 on career field goal %!!!

Roger that.

Because I couldn’t find a former player with a Purdue connection, I went a different route with this week’s Q&A.

An old friend gave me a heads up that one of Oregon’s assistant video coordinators worked at Purdue before joining the Ducks’ staff in 2008.

I thought he might be able to give some good insight into what his job entails and how the two programs differ. At this point, football is basically a year-round sport and the people that work with the program – marketing, public relations, video, etc. – work very long hours with almost no days off.

So, I really appreciate Eric taking the time to answer the following questions.

1. Introduce Yourself: My name is Eric Day. I am the assistant video coordinator for the University of Oregon Athletics. I mainly work with the football team, but do work with almost all teams. I grew up in Indiana as a Purdue fan my whole life. I graduated from Purdue with a degree in Statistics and minors in English and Economics in May 2007. So my education has nothing to do with what I do for a living. I worked for Purdue football as a student for the 2004, 2005, and 2006 seasons. I worked full time for the 2007 season. I moved to Oregon in June 2008. This is my second season in Oregon.

2. Explain your duties as video coordinator: I’m responsible for making sure the coaches have all the video they need to be prepared for every game. All of our video is digital, so I basically maintain a network of digital video. The coaches watch every practice as soon as they walk off the practice field. They also want every game we play plus every game our opponents play. They also watch a lot of NFL or other college teams in the off season. The video is also linked to a database, so each play has a ton of information attached to it that includes down, distance, play name, or anything else they want. They can then use that information to game plan and make reports. The coaches spend a lot of time watching video, I just make sure it’s there for them.

3. You’ve worked for Purdue football and Oregon football. What’s the biggest difference between the two programs? I would have to say the biggest difference is national exposure. If Purdue went 10-3 last year and won the capitol one bowl, they wouldn’t be on SI or anything like that. At Oregon, we started using helmet cams on the QBs’ helmets this year. We weren’t the first school to do it, but it got more publicity than when other schools did it. I don’t know if it’s because of the jerseys, but the national media seems to like Oregon better than Purdue, even when Purdue was having success.

4. Be honest, will you be sporting a Purdue t-shirt under your Oregon gear on gameday? I will not be wearing any Purdue gear whatsoever. I usually wear a Purdue sweatshirt Saturday morning when I watch the Purdue game on tv, but I won’t be doing that this weekend. I love Purdue, and I will always love Purdue. I hope they win every game, except for when they play the Ducks.

5. Best memory of Coach Tiller? Coach Tiller is one of the greatest people I’ve ever been lucky enough to interact with. My favorite memories of him are just day-to-day interactions that aren’t entertaining enough to write in this blog. However, my most interesting memory would be when he called me in his office the day after my car caught on fire during practice. It’s a long story…don’t ask. However, I will say this about Coach Tiller. There seemed to be a large group of Purdue fans that loved to give him a hard time as if he wasn’t good enough. They quickly forgot where Purdue football was before he took the reigns. Coach Tiller brought in a level of success that Purdue football had never seen before and may never see again. 10 bowls in 12 years with one rose bowl after Purdue had only 5 bowl games before he came. I know there are more bowl games now, but it was almost embarrassing to be a Purdue football fan in the early to mid 90′s. I hope all fans give him the credit he deserves now.

6. You moved to Eugene from Indiana. What was your first impression of Eugene? I first noticed how green everything was. When you look north from the top of the press box, there are tress everywhere, but I know there’s houses everywhere there, too. I love Eugene. It’s a great place to live. And after a year of the weather, I’m kind of mad at my parents for making me endure Indiana summers and winters. Although when you live there, you don’t know any better. It makes me laugh when the students that work for me tried to warn me about the “horrible” winter here. 40 and rainy is way better than 15 and snowy any day. I went back to Indiana in January for a week, and the car at the airport said it was -10. People that have lived here their whole life don’t even know that temperature exists. I wear shorts year round here. Plus if I miss sledding, I just hop over to the pass and sled/snowboard for a day.

7. How do the coaches fare with the video technology? How many times are you called in for computer assistance? I am called into their offices all day for computer assistance. Half the time it’s because they messed up, the other half is because the program/network is messed up. I will give them credit though. The software we are using is very powerful and very sophisticated and none of them grew up using computers. Some coaches are better than others, but all of them know enough to get done what they want to get done.

8. Fill in the blank: Autzen Stadium _______________ Autzen stadium is great place to watch college football. It is also the loudest place I’ve ever been for a football game, and I’ve been to Michigan, Penn St, and Ohio St. I hope our fans show Purdue just how loud it can be. I watch from the top of the press box, so I can see it all. I have the best seat in the house because there is nothing I can’t see and I don’t have to crane my neck to see a certain part of the field.

9. You haven’t sent any video to Purdue have you? I have sent lots of video to Purdue. I sent all of our games from 2008 and our Boise St game from 2009. But they sent me their games in exchange and that’s normal. Besides that, I haven’t sent them anything.

10. What is the one thing about Purdue football that will surprise Oregon fans? I hope I’m right since I haven’t checked this fact in awhile, but I’m pretty sure Purdue has had more starts by alumni in the NFL than any other college during the super bowl era. I found that to be surprising. There is definitely a history there of good players. I just hope Purdue can keep the momentum of the Joe Tiller era going.

Damon is probably going to be upset with that headline.

He played at Oregon, and I think he’s a Duck at heart. But, right now, he’s a coach at Boise State.

This is the second Q&A for DG, but my goal for this season was to try and have the Q&As relate to the game of the week. (I am already at a loss for Week 2 when Oregon plays Purdue, so if anyone has any ideas, let me know).

I asked him all new questions, and tried to get some sort of scoop.

It didn’t work. The Broncos are 64-2 on the blue turf since 1999. He dodged my question about how to cope with the blue, so there must be some sort of advantage that they use. Seriously, that is an insane stat.

Kirk Herbstreit gave the advantage to Boise State. But, he’s a pretty boy so his vote doesn’t count.

I can’t believe it’s game week. I live for college football season and am really excited to see what Chip Kelly brings to the table this season. I am planning to utilize my twitter during the games, which will be a new thing. I am sure I will regret that seeing as I tend to pop off pretty easily.

GO Ducks!!

1. Describe your thoughts heading into the first game? What is it like to coach against your alma mater where you have such fond memories? Honestly my thoughts are all over the place. I never been against the Ducks. I break it down like this: I will always be a Duck, but I’m married to the Broncos right now. And my father always told me a happy wife is a happy home.

2. Be honest. What color clothing will your daughters be wearing at the game? Honestly, it better be PJ’s. My two-year-old is too crazy to sit down for longer than 5 minutes. So we dont take her to the games.

3. How do you protect your eyes from staring at blue turf all year? Do you have special shades? I see what you are doing Allison, and it’s not going to work. But I like your style.

4. Can you give us Duckies a little sneak peak of your game plan? Maybe just the first 15 plays? Damn you are good. Well not sure if you know this, but I’m on the defensive side as a GA helping Justin Wilcox. I would assume the plan is to not let the very powerful Oregon offense score too many touchdown in those 15 plays.

5. Where is the (most likely) Duck friendly bar where we can celebrate our win? Right now probably my house is the friendliest. I’ve been so busy helping and trying to figure out how in the hell are we going to stop Masoli and Le Blount that we just drink ourselves to sleep in the office. So I don’t really know the bar scene yet.

6. Let’s talk about your time at Oregon. Can you recall a funny on-field moment that has stuck with you? Does that crazy hippie guy still slam the opposing teams mascot doll on the ground as the crowd counts the points? I don’t remember who we were playing but we scored like 60 on somebody and that dude was everywhere. First of all, where is the security? Second, he shouldn’t be allowed in the beer garden, that’s for sure. We always just laughed at the dude as he would go crazy slamming the doll.

7. Do you prefer Bellotti with ‘stache or without ‘stache? With Stache. I don’t know what it is, but unless you can’t grow a stache, I have a problem trusting you. Every man should have a stache!

8. Do you keep in touch with your former teammates? What do they say to you leading up to the season-opener? I keep up with a lot of guys. I just talked to Kenny Wheaton and I was trying to get him tickets, but I’m a GA and I only get two tickets, so you know those are gone. Mostly, the question is how do you feel about coaching against the Ducks, and its the same answer: “very uncomfortable”. And if the Broncos are for real, and I say, ‘well you saw what happen last year’, then they are a better team than last year. So it should be a good game.

9. Talk about your life after college? What have you been doing leading up to your current position at Boise State? Having two beautiful punk-ass lil girls. I say that because I can’t believe how beautiful they are and how they have me wrapped around their fingers even though they can’t talk yet. It’s really going to suck in the future! But, I wouldn’t change it for the world. Career-wise, I got my masters and am planning to become a Division-1 football coach in the near future.

10. What is your guilty pleasure television show? The Baby First channel because I’ve only seen my 4-month old for three weeks, and it if my baby girls are up, I know they are watching that show.

Most of the time when people meet Laef and I they fist-bump Laef.

This is usually in celebration of the fact that I am 8 years older than Laef.

Sometimes the male species is in awe of the fact that I like sports.

What they don’t know is that I only like to watch one sport on TV.

College Football.

(Sidenote: I will watch the NCAA Tournament and college softball, but most guys are not impressed by that).

I enjoy major league baseball.

When I am AT the actual stadium with a $9 beer and a hot dog.

I am trying to learn the rules of soccer so that I can understand what the fuck is going on. Based on how passionate soccer fans are, there’s got to be something to it.

The NFL is OK, but I am not nearly as excited for Sunday football as I am for Saturday football. I admit it. I watch my fantasy players and scream at the TV when they drop TD passes in the endzone. It’s too stressful for me.

So, anyway, we are t-minus 223 hours until the Oregon football season opener.

While I am somewhat pissed that the Duckies play on a Thursday, I am very excited to start posting on Rob’s blog , hunting down new people for my Q&As and drinking at noon on Saturday.

Here’s what I’ll be watching for this season:

1. Will Jeff Tedford (aka JT) do a Q&A for my blog? The guy doesn’t do anything except game-plan during the season. I think he probably sleeps 2 hours per night. OK, but seriously: Is Cal going to live up to the hype and win the Pac-10 this year? People seem to think that USC is down and that the Bears are the team that will win the crown.

2. What’s this Chip Kelly guy all about? When I think of Oregon football, it’s hard not to think of Coach Bellotti. He was there for so long. But, this year, there’s a new coach in town. Kelly seems to have a different approach and it will be interesting to see how that translates on the field.

3. Will my die-hard Cal friend Ben survive Autzen Stadium on Sept. 26? We’re heading to Eugene for the game – my first visit to Autzen since leaving Oregon almost 3 years ago. It’s a brutal place for visiting fans and players. I can’t wait to see how this game plays out. It might hold the key to who wins the Pac-10 title.

4. How many times will I have to watch a Tim Tebow press conference or read an article in SI about how he’s the second-coming of Michael Phelps Jesus?

5. How many Coronas and Mimosas will I need to get through each Saturday?

I guess that’s it for now. Check back Monday for the season’s first Q&A. It’s about a former Duck who will be very torn during Oregon’s season-opener at Boise State.

I feel so … accomplished.

The workshop that our office put on this week is coming to a close. It was all week and had about 100 attendees. It is by far the biggest event I have ever put together. Even my wedding will be less complicated.

My French coworker and I really pulled this off and it feels kinda good. The same way the half-marathon felt good. I had to be at work by 7 a.m. everyday and often didn’t leave until close to 8 p.m. I thought for sure that I’d wake up one morning and not have the energy. But I kept pushing through and took a lot of pride in each day.

It sort of reminded me of five days in a row of a football game at Autzen.

Except this was my press box:

And my gameday view was this:

Which is not quite as exciting as this:

But, dude. We had fun. I don’t know how or why, but there were a lot of laughs, and I’m going to miss this meeting room come Monday. There were some highs (an insane amount of scones, cookies, coffee, desserts, salmon lunches) and lows (13 hour days), but it was a success!

There was one minor hitch during the week. On Wednesday, we had the most number of people register. The registration fee was $165 per person, and there were at least 60 people register with cash that day. I’m too lazy to do the math, but I’m pretty sure it equals way more fucking cash money than I normally see with my own two eyes.

Anywasted, after packing everything up that night and finally getting the fuck out of there, me and Frenchie started walking back to our office. Halfway there, we realized that we left the cash in the meeting room with the night staff that had arrived to clean up the room.

We retrieved it. It was all good. And it was at that point that I quit patting myself on the back for doing such a kick-ass job and realized that I am, and always will be, a GIANT CLUSTER.

And here we are at Friday. I proclaimed to Laef this morning that we WILL be going out to dinner tonight to celebrate surviving this week. I have stumbled across a new restaurant that I absofuckinglutely adore and have been dying to take Laef there.

I was super giddy all morning envisioning the seafood enchiladas at La Sirena because they look like this and are fucking delicious.

So, anyway, I kept thinking of how I can’t wait and how excited I am that Laef will actually be there with me. (He is almost always on travel during this time). Finally, I won’t be that girl dining alone on a Friday night.

And then I remembered that fucking mustache. Super fucking awesome.

TGIF!

My sources tell me that McFrosty has descended on Eugene.

Message No. 1 (via Facebook): February 2nd, 4:19 p.m.
Smitten Kitten #1:“New coach sighting. I’m not saying he’s a Dave Heeke, but he sure is going to brighten my day!!”

For reference – Dave Heeke:

Message No. 2 (via Facebook): February 2nd, 4:34 p.m.
Smitten Kitten #1:“I’d be able to better assess the Heeke-ness of the new guy if his wardrobe consisted of something other than baggy jeans and untucked shirts. But I’m not ready to kick him out of the office.”

Message No. 3 (via Gmail): February 3rd, 2:10 p.m.
Subject: He’s Here
Smitten Kitten #2:“McCute”

Message No. 4 (via Gmail): February 5, 10:54 a.m.
Subject: 411
Smitten Kitten #3: “Confirming McFrosty is hot in person. Definitely in shape.”

After yesterday’s email exchange with Smitten Kitten (SK) #3, I sent out an APB to the UO PR guy, who is not as cute as McFrosty, and definitely bitter about it.

Me: “I need a Q&A with McF STAT”
Bitter Kitten #1: “You’re twisted.”
Me: “Um. It’s for my readers.”
Bitter Kitten #2: “Well, I haven’t even met him yet. When I do, I will determine his blog-worthiness.”
Me: “Well, I’ve got three sources already confirmed that it’s blog-worthy.”
Bitter Kitten #2: “Pigs.”

So I may have to attempt to get this Q&A all on my own, but I’m having anxiety. I mean, really, do I email him?

Dear Coach McFrosty,
You may not know this, but I used to work at Oregon when the coaches were old and bald, and I noticed that you got hired, and I have this blog, and I told all seven of my readers (many of which are married or pregnant or male) that I wanted to find a nickname for you and we haven’t really settled on one yet, but Lamb’s McLikeMyJohnson is the front-runner. So, anyway, despite the fact that you are busy teaching Oregon receivers how to catch, I am wondering if you could answer a few questions that I could post on my blog?”

Best Regards,
McLooney

P.S. I know some of you don’t see it. But, we need to refrain from saying how ugly he is because he pretty much looks EXACTLY like my own little McHotty. But, I’ve whored out McHotty far too much on the blog. He needs a break.

XO!

TGIF

I’m sure by now you’ve all heard about the couple that gave birth to Octuplets in California on Monday.

They were only expecting seven babies, but during the birth doctors apparently found an eighth baby.

Let me tell you how annoying that must of been. I am pretty sure that Laef and I would have spent months arguing and debating while trying to come up with seven baby names (AND MIDDLE NAMES!) that we both agreed on and were happy with. When that eighth baby came out, I am pretty sure I would have named it
NOFUCKINGWAY WEONLYHAVESEVENCRIBS Morris.

Seriously. You know they only had seven of everything, including names. And, even if they did have an eighth name it was the name that didn’t make the cut in the first place.

Anyway, speaking of names, I have decided to start Nickname ’09 for my new favorite Oregon coach. Jason Bellamy claims that McFrosty had two nicknames while trying to make the Green Bay Packers squad a few years back. Those nicknames were: “Scottie Too Hottie” or “Scottie The Body”.

Good names, but too long. We need something that is quick and easy. Something that truly encapsulates the fact that he could actually take a role on Grey’s Anatomy if this coaching thing doesn’t work out.

If you need a reminder as to what he looks like, allow me to post his headshot again. I’ve got my spies in Eugene who will keep us posted on what he looks like from the shoulders down. Surely he has a tail or something. Or bad breath.

SUGGESTIONS SO FAR:

1. McFrosty (Aross)
2. McYou’reABitch (Laef)

Well, last night it happened. I had my second wedding-related dream. Both dreams have actually been nightmares in that NOTHING goes right in the dream. Luckily, in last night’s dream I was at least wearing the wedding dress that I bought, and not some long-sleeved lacy thing.

So here’s how it went last night. For starters, we definitely were not on the beach. We were in the woods on very rocky, unstable ground. The possibility of rolling down a cliff was very real. I was sitting in a little wooden shack all dressed and ready and kept looking outside at the ceremony site. There were like four people there. I couldn’t figure out where everyone was.

I quickly realized that I had never sent out the invitations. I had sent the save-the-dates and kept hoping that people would remember. They didn’t. There were no more than five people in attendance throughout the dream. Once I realized that no one else was coming, I decided to come out of the shack and proceed with the wedding. As soon as I saw my brother-in-law, Neil, I realized that Laef and I had never written our vows and had never discussed the ceremony with Neil. (Neil will be marrying us in real life).

Now I am starting to panic. I tell Laef to just make something up when it’s his turn to say his vows.

“Just say whatever comes to your mind. Whatever you think about you, me, us.”

(If you know Laef, winging it is not something that makes him happy).

I spend the remainder of the dream wondering how ghetto and unorganized Ben thinks I am for not remembering to send out invitations. I fear that people think “forgetting” was part of a bigger plan to save money.

I wake up before the wedding starts.

So today I am tired from “running all around” looking for my guests and trying to “write my vows” quickly.

Now, on to the second part of this blog. The dreamy part.

Oregon just hired a new wide receivers’ coach.

Are you kidding me?

Now, no one can hold a candle to Oregon’s dreamy-est coach of all time, Jeff T., but when did the Duckies start hiring Ken dolls?

I’m just sayin’. There weren’t any coaches that looked like that when I was there. Most of them were a)married b)50 c)had chew-stained teeth and d)were bald.

This week’s Q&A features Chris Tetterton.

I can’t say that I remember somebody with a better sense of humor during my time. Also, Chris was one of those guys who had to work extra hard to earn a starting spot. You may or may not remember that Igor Olshansky was a freshman during Chris’ senior year.

Chris’ back was injured all season long, but that season culminated in the Fiesta Bowl win. Chris had worked and battled all season and earned the starting job for the game. He wasn’t able to play through and I think we all remember that as Igor’s coming out party.

Since then, the Ducks have gotten monster D-Linemen and five-star recruits and Chris’ answer to where he’d be on the depth chart this season is pretty funny.

He also recalls a travel story. I wish I had a photo, but I don’t. I just remember him getting on the plane in a polyester suit and acting completely serious about it.

I did find a couple of photos to reflect his personality. Enjoy. By the way, yes, he drives a giant station wagon.

P.S. I posted a college football challenge. Check it out and see how smart you are!

1. Introduce yourself: Hello, my name is Chris Tetterton and I’m not in the porn industry.

2.OK. Then what are you currently doing?: I am currently employed as a stage manager at a production studio. And by night I solve local mysteries in the Marina Del Rey area.

3. So, you are borderline famous? I wouldn’t call it borderline because that means you have to be somewhere near the line, and i am far from it. For now.

4.Where would you be if you were on the depth chart of the 2008 Ducks?: Where do the pop-up dummies fit on the depth chart? I would say holding them.

5.How many times have you been to Autzen since you last played?: Well, that’s hard to say. I sat in the stands once for a half. But, I have been to the Mo center for 5 and a half.

6. Describe playing for Coach Greatwood: I will just say this. After my career at Oregon, Wood had agreed to take the seniors (only Zack and myself) out for a night on the town. The real Eugene, which is nowhere near the Oregon Electric Station. Oh yeah, he was a good coach too.

7. Do you still have the giant stationwagon?: Yes I do. Until I see a Mad Max or a Thunderdome, I’m still gonna drive my landyahts.

8. What former Ducks do you still keep in touch with or hang out with?: I keep in touch with many of the guys that I played with, but I can’t name them all because I would get cramps in my hands. Garrett Sabol called me last night as he was carrying his wife to bed and I was trying to get a drink. Funny.

9. How bad was college football for your back?: It hasn’t made me want to take up gymnastics, but it’s one of those things I have to live with and take care of the rest of my life. Just gotta keep stretching. Josh Wilcox taught me that. And the full nelson.

10.What’s your fondest memory of Oregon football?: The ones my friends or the police told me the next moring. Or beating OSU my senior year and wining the PAC-10. It’s a toss-up.

11.Funniest memory: Too many to even think about. But going to UCLA my senior year in my polyester suit and white shoes made everyone laugh and relax. I like to think that suit won that game. Coach Bellotti said it was just what he needed and that everything was going to be great on gameday. Coach Greatwood could not keep a straght face. DP [Coach Pellum] just shook his head. I think he was jealous. The next morning on gameday, I came down like everyone else in travel sweats. Bellotti asked me to go back upstairs and put on my suit. And even after we won and were back in the lockerroom, Coach grabbed my arm and looked at me with a slightly puzzled look. He asked me if I was going to wear the suit home. I asured him that I would, mostly because all of my other stuff was on the bus. That suit rocked. I will wear it if we get inducted into the hall of fame.

12. Funniest teammate? You don’t count: Erik Nicolaisen. Hands down. (http://www.eriknicolaisen.com/)

13. Did you ever get Joey drunk?: I can not really say that I got him drunk. It might have been the Arbor Mist wine that did.

14. What do you miss most about Eugene? The fall. But not fall camp